Archive for the ‘Clerks’ Category

Newsflash: Sketchy Man Hangs Out in Sex Shop. Film at 11.

Middle Eastern man to register girl at sex shop: You have most beautiful eyes in Manhattan.
Register girl: Um, thanks.
Middle Eastern man: You look like European girl.
Register girl: I get that a lot.
Middle Eastern man: Let's go out for drink tonight.
Register girl: No.
Middle Eastern man: Okay, thank you!

–Sex Shop, 5th Ave

Overheard by: Nanda

Ada Had an Identical Conversation With the Doctor About Her Husband's Viagra Prescription

Older woman: Excuse me, have you found a set of keys in here?
Teller: No, ma'am.
Older woman: They're not mine, they're a friend's.
Teller: We haven't found any.
Older woman: If I lost my keys, I would be upset, and would want the the person who found them to give them back.
Teller: We haven't found your keys.
Older woman: If they were my keys I would be very upset right now.

–Bank, Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

Mocking Nerds: The Universal Language.

Engineer on PA: Check the back door, check the back door, we've got a red light.
Conductor, in very geeky voice: Okay… Okay, everybody. Whoever you are. Who… Uh… Uh… Manually tries to… Uh… Open the train doors… Uh… You'll… You'll… You'll be locked up… I'm tellin' ya…! You'll be locked up!
(entire train howls with laughter)

–Train Arriving at Penn Station

Overheard by: Margaret

…I Thought Calling Them Animals Was a Little Disrespectful.

Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.

–Uptown NY Tour Bus