Blondie is a Group

The bartender is wearing a Blondie shirt. Guy: Do you even know who Blondie is? Do you know who JFK is?
Bartender: Were you even alive when JFK was alive?
Guy: I’ll bet you were born in 1982.
Bartender: Did anyone ever tell you how charming you are?
Guy: No! –The Library, Avenue A

That’s why everyone’s in tight clothing

Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan

But aren’t they the same anyway?

Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.” – W 83rd Post Office

There’s Gay, and Then There’s AIDS Gay

Gay Man #1: I like your coat.
Gay Man #2: Where did you get it?
Gay Man #1: Gucci.
Gay Man #2: Gucci, Gucci, Goo! –Elevator, Manhattan

Malice Goes to Style Court

Bored Guest: When are we going to get out of here? Don’t tell me in two hours. I’d rather get out of here in three hours than in two hours. If I have to go over that bridge during rush hour, I’ll shoot myself and then jump. I’ll be falling with a gun to my head. –Style Court Plaintiff Room

At Least You’ll Double Your Income

Frantic Chick: Where’s my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks! –Costume Party, Dumbo

I’m Also Terrified of Clowns

Bag Check Guy: I’m so scared of mice here now that I’m thinking of tucking my pants into my socks. –The Strand

Now Shut the Fuck Up, You Unwanted Accident

Little Girl: Mommy, why do people in New York always wear black?
Mommy: I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like looking pretty.

–Upper East Side

NYC Forecast: Snow, Wind, Heavy Chance of Racism

Girl #1: I hate how my body is cold but my face is freezing off.
Guy: You could wear a ski mask.
Girl #1: But then you look like a douche.
Girl #2: Yeah, like that guy [across the street].
Girl #1: He’s not wearing a ski mask. He’s black. –26th & 7th Overheard by: Ricki Lagotte

Queer Eye for the Homeless Guy

A sharply dressed woman offers a pair of gloves to a hobo: Sir, could you use these?
Hobo: Lady, you should know better. Those don’t match my outfit. –23rd & 7th