Stop Shaving My Legs, For One

A guy and a girl are standing next to each other, waiting to cross the street. She’s wearing a winter jacket, scarf and hat. Guy: You’re in trouble.
Girl: Why?
Guy: What the fuck are you going to do when it gets cold? –Times Square Overheard by: Anna Ryan

Wow, That’s So Vapid!

Bimbo: I’d put on a sweater and baggy pants, and everyone would be like, “Wow, that’s so Margello!” –Ave A & 3rd St.

Blondie is a Group

The bartender is wearing a Blondie shirt. Guy: Do you even know who Blondie is? Do you know who JFK is?
Bartender: Were you even alive when JFK was alive?
Guy: I’ll bet you were born in 1982.
Bartender: Did anyone ever tell you how charming you are?
Guy: No! –The Library, Avenue A

That’s why everyone’s in tight clothing

Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan

But aren’t they the same anyway?

Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.” – W 83rd Post Office

Just When You Think Lesbian Porn Can't Get Any Better

Woman #1: Wow, those fingerless gloves are great! You look like you could get into a fistfight, but in a totally adorable way!
Woman #2: It would be the cutest, fuzziest, bluest fight ever!

–5th & 22nd

Overheard by: Rose Fox

I'm Pretty Sure I've Seen Bono in Ripped Jeans. Just Saying.

Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.

–Laundry Room, W 116th St

Whereas Clowns Are Hung Like Bears

Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.

–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg

Their Lifespan Was Brief.

Girl to guy: By the way, I threw away your underwear. I hope you don't mind?
Guy: Nah, it's probably better.

–Williamsburg

…Because Then This Day Just Got a Lot More Interesting.

Guy #1, as younger guy walks by in very long dress shirt and shorts: Is he wearing pants?
Guy #2: I certainly hope not!

–54th & 9th