Frantic Chick: Where’s my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks! –Costume Party, Dumbo
Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!
–Apple Bank, 86th St
Overheard by: hatia
Conductor leaning out window of train pulling into station: Hey, nice hat! I like your hat!
Woman on platform with nice hat: Um, thank you.
Conductor: This is 72nd Street. Uptown 2 train making local stops, local stops. Next stop 79th Street. Nice hat! Niiiice hat!
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy #1: This isn't that crowded.
Guy #2: Yeah, the other day I was on a different train and we were packed in like sardines, this lady had her boobs in my face.
Guy #1: Oh, that's nice.
Guy #2: And the best part is her shirt said “stop staring, bitch!”
Overheard by: Beck
Child: The man-of-war is in a black suit, right?
Father: It's not an actual man.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Harmony Yourish
Customer: Do you think this shirt would match with these trousers?
Sales guy: Don’t ask me. I’m color blind.
–Urban Outfitters, Broadway
Overheard by: Gladys M
Announcer: Attention all passengers! The a train will be running on the local platform. It will not be running on the express platform. If you are on the middle platform, you are on the wrong platform. Excuse me, if you are wearing a checkered dress, you are on the wrong platform. If you are wearing a checkered dress and pushing a baby carriage, you are on the wrong platform. Hello! I'm talking to you! The a train will be running on the local platform!
Random guy: Yo, this bitch is dumb! Get off the platform, dumb bitch!
(checkered dress lady continues to stare down tunnel)
–A Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman #1: Are you Jewish?
Woman #2: Do I look Jewish? No, I’m not Jewish. I wear pants. –B1 bus
Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.
–W 13th St
Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?
Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.
Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.
Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.
11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.
Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!
–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Male suit: Sweet! They're getting me a new BlackBerry!
Female suit: Can I have your old one? You just got it.
Male suit: Eh, the middle button is broken. I may have to send it in.
Female suit: Your middle button is broken. You pee your pants when I touch it. That doesn't mean I don't want you.
Overheard by: Kellz