Archive for the ‘Clothing’ Category

An After School Special That Didn't Make It To Air

Girl #1: Look at that guy in the gray suit.
Girl #2: My sister knows him.
Girl #1: He's cute, what does he do?
Girl #2: I think he is a social worker.
Girl #1: Ah–full heart, empty wallet. (chuckles)
Girl #2: Oh man, that's cold.
Girl #1 (looking at girl #2 with surprise): What? if a certain lifestyle is important to you…we shouldn't pretend it isn't. I'm not kidding myself anymore.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Darren

To Be Fair, the Elderly Man Wasn't Wearing Pants Either

Five-year-old girl pissing behind tree to mother trying to talk to elderly man with dog: Look mommy! Look! I'm making a pee-pee behind the tree.
Mother: Yes, sweetie, that's very nice. (returns to conversation with man)
Girl: Mommy! I'm still peeing! I'm still peeing!
Mother: Uh-huh. Well, pull your pants up when you're done.
Girl: Mommy, there's a squirrel! Hi, squirrel!
Old man: Careful! They have rabies and they'll eat you!
Girl, running towards mother with no pants: Aaaaaah!

–Riverside Park

Lotta Mileage on It

Dude: Honestly, what was Jamie wearing?
Queer: Something slut-tacular?
Dude: I have a GAP-commercial of a closet. I need to loan her something to wear in public.
Queer: She really just needs to buy something that doesn’t show her cooch.

–Manhattan-bound L train

Overheard by: dead partier

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti-less

Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave