Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category

Better Make It Decaf, Then

Guy, 40s: I don’t take medication. I don’t need it. I need drawing. I need peace and tranquility. I need coffee! –The Strand

Seminal Wednesday One-liners

Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler

The Cream Followed Soon After

Girl #1: Have you ever got hit by an errant cup of coffee?
Girl #2: Once, but I’m not sure how errant I’d consider it. –Fix Coffee, Williamsburg Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Where Can I Possibly Find a Coffee?

Woman: Can I have a coffee?
Ice Cream Lady: You want coffee ice cream?
Woman: No, coffee.
Ice Cream Lady: Oh, we don’t sell coffee. –Coldstone Ice Cream, Astor Place Overheard by: Alayna

“I Said Coffee!”

Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.” –Starbucks, Astor Place

Since the Espressopation Proclamation

Female barista to another: Stay away, he's my customer.
Guy: You can't, like, own a customer, dude.

–Starbucks, East Village

Overheard by: Senseful

A Bulgarian Wax Will Pull Your Balkans Off

Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*