Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for Young, Urban Professionals

Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on. –Downtown C train Overheard by: amused passenger Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen. –43rd & Lex Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate! –42nd & 5th Avenue Overheard by: Reader Rabbit Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino? –McDonald’s, 34th & 10th

Saccharine Might Be Better for Her

Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes. –Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets. –10 Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: Jarrod Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options. –Grand St, Chinatown Overheard by: Mike Posillico Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song. –Bx15 Bus Overheard by: Karly Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold! –34th & 3rd Overheard by: Dahouhou Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there. –14th St, across Doomed Megastore Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin