Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

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Wednesday One-Liners for Young, Urban Professionals

Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on. –Downtown C train Overheard by: amused passenger Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen. –43rd & Lex Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate! –42nd & 5th Avenue Overheard by: Reader Rabbit Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino? –McDonald’s, 34th & 10th

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Perhaps We Could Discuss Free Coffee…Wesley

Coffee vendor: That iced coffee will be eight dollars, and the straw will cost you fifty cents extra, ha ha.
Cashier: Man, Joe, that coffee's expensive!
Coffee vendor: Why'd you gotta say my name, man? What if my baby mama came up in here looking for child support and youse be sayin' my name?! –Westside Market

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Saccharine Might Be Better for Her

Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes. –Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

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