Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Like Their Women Like They Like Their Coffee: Hot, and with a Spoon in Them.

Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.

–Dunkin' Donuts

Overheard by: Madalyn

Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Marc

Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.

–Starbucks

Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?

–Starbucks

Why Thorazine Is Contraindicated for Service Employees

Yankee fan: Yeah, I'll have a grilled chicken sandwich and a vanilla iced coffee.
Apathetic cashier: Crispy chicken sandwich?
Yankee fan: No, grilled, sorry about that–I thought I said grilled.
Apathetic cashier: And you wanted a Diet Coke?
Yankee fan: No, a vanilla iced coffee.
Cashier: Oh.

–McDonald's, Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Rachel W.

I'd Like to Have My Life Catered

Overbearing mother, discussing wedding registry: Get a teapot.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't drink tea!
Overbearing mother: Someone might come over who does. Get a coffee thing, too.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't know how to make coffee! That's what Starbucks is for!

–Bouchon Bakery, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: office peon