Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category

I'd Like to Have My Life Catered

Overbearing mother, discussing wedding registry: Get a teapot.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't drink tea!
Overbearing mother: Someone might come over who does. Get a coffee thing, too.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't know how to make coffee! That's what Starbucks is for!

–Bouchon Bakery, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: office peon

It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!

–Ave B & 10th St

Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!

–St. Marks Place

Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.

–1st & 3rd

Overheard by: Angela

Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!

–7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!

–CVS

Overheard by: freshly brewed.

Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!

–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn

Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: Raven