Archive for the ‘College’ Category

That Works in Any Class; Try It and See

Girl #1: I refuse to take a Women’s Studies class and lower my morals.
Girl #2: I have a friend in that class, he’s one of 2 guys in there; the rest are all man-haters.
Girl #3: I hear the only way to get an A is to come out during class, or say how you were abused as a child. I’ll stand up in class and say, “I live with my boyfriend but I’m a lesbian; can I have my A now?” –Pace Unversity

Wednesday One-Liners in Elbow-Patch Blazers

Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.

–Fordham Universityy

Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.

–Yeshiva University

English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.

–Hunter college

Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.

–Fordham Law School

Overheard by: EntertainedStudent

Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.

–NYU

Overheard by: queenofscots