Little girl: Mommy, how old will I be when I have sex? –18th & Broadway Overheard by: Mayde and Daniel
Ethics lecturer, to room of lawyers: Can I call a witness I think is going to lie?
Lawyer: … On the telephone?
–Practising Law Institute, 52nd & 7th
Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.
Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.
English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.
Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: EntertainedStudent
Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.
Overheard by: queenofscots
Student: Of course he should get the death penalty! He is a drunk-driving pederast who drowned a two-year-old.
Professor: Oh, and you’re so perfect?!
–New York Law School
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time!
–Hostos Faculty Dining Room
Overheard by: glad she's leaving
Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: office peon loves Thanksgiving food
Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then…
–Dunkin Donuts, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: allison
Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits.
–Upper West Side
Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry.
–95th & 2nd
Girl #1: I mean, she's okay, but she's not a diva…
Girl #2, angrily: Hannah Montana is the most popular girl in America, admit it!
Overheard by: yacky
Guy #1: What you got going this summer?
Guy #2: I got like 3 jobs.
Guy #1: That’s crazy. Work’s cool and everything, but that don’t leave no pussy time. And I’ve got to be fucking some bitch. –Lehman College bookstore
Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!
Overheard by: kteezy
English teacher: So tell me: why might Martin Luther King have written “I have a dream”? What was he trying to accomplish?
Ditzy blonde freshman, raising hand: Well, I mean, he was trying to free all the slaves. Duh!
Overheard by: Rupert