Archive for the ‘College’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Rob the Cradle

Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??

–Simon Baruch Middle School

Overheard by: the art major

Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.

–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Maianess

20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup

Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.

–Grand Central Station

Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: inching away

Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!

–Wagner College

Overheard by: good to know

That Works in Any Class; Try It and See

Girl #1: I refuse to take a Women’s Studies class and lower my morals.
Girl #2: I have a friend in that class, he’s one of 2 guys in there; the rest are all man-haters.
Girl #3: I hear the only way to get an A is to come out during class, or say how you were abused as a child. I’ll stand up in class and say, “I live with my boyfriend but I’m a lesbian; can I have my A now?” –Pace Unversity