Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show. –Times Square Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?! Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green! –Times Square Shuttle Platform Overheard by: D-Law Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared? –Rockefeller Center Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas! –F Train Overheard by: Matt Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues. –The Cloisters, Harlem Overheard by: M@
Teacher: This is pretty darn green bromothymol blue.
Student: What color’s it supposed to be?
Teacher: Um, bromothymol blue. –Stuyvesant High
Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming. –Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall
Older brunette woman: I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde, and maybe I'll even dye the hedges!
Older red-haired woman: Is that safe?
Older brunette woman: Hm. Let's google it! –CVS Pharmacy
80 year-old Italian teacher: You like fluorescent colors a lot, yes?
Girl: Yeah, I love them. They're great.
80 year-old Italian teacher: There are also people who love midgets. I know. It's an unfortunate love. –Cooper Union, East Village
Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]
Cashier: Did that really just happen? –27th & 5th
Woman: Wow, your face is really red! What happened, sunburn?
Cashier girl: No…allergic reaction.
Woman: Ooh…what are you allergic to?
Cashier girl: Rude, obnoxious and tactless customers.
Woman: Oh, so you get a lot of those, hmm?
Cashier girl: Ugh…Oh yeah, I forgot, and stupid ones that don’t get subtlety, either. –Stop & Shop, Long Island City Overheard by: mshorty
Boy #1, looking at picture book: Grapes are purple, corn is yellow, tomatoes are red, edamame is green.
Boy #2: I think those are peas.
Boy #1: What are peas? –LIRR Overheard by: loisann
Florist #1 (hanging up the phone) We just got a funeral.
Florist #2: Man or woman?
Florist #1: Man.
Florist #2: Goddammit! We have all these pink roses and nothing we can use them for!
Florist #1: We could always use them and hope that he was a flamer. –Flower Shop, Greenwich Village
Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president. –P.S. 290 Overheard by: TA who hears everything