Archive for the ‘Colors’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show. –Times Square Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?! Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green! –Times Square Shuttle Platform Overheard by: D-Law Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared? –Rockefeller Center Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas! –F Train Overheard by: Matt Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues. –The Cloisters, Harlem Overheard by: M@

That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]
Cashier: Did that really just happen? –27th & 5th

What About People Who Misuse “Subtlety”?

Woman: Wow, your face is really red! What happened, sunburn?
Cashier girl: No…allergic reaction.
Woman: Ooh…what are you allergic to?
Cashier girl: Rude, obnoxious and tactless customers.
Woman: Oh, so you get a lot of those, hmm?
Cashier girl: Ugh…Oh yeah, I forgot, and stupid ones that don’t get subtlety, either. –Stop & Shop, Long Island City Overheard by: mshorty