Grad student: Translation: Will you marry me? Or: I don’t want germs. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Dude: … My wedding [mumble] gonna take away my clothes, so I’m going to need a tear-away tuxedo. –53rd & Broadway Overheard by: Jo Chick to another: Yeah, he’s the one who wouldn’t marry her because she was too pale. –Starbucks Blonde: … And I’m really not sure, because he said he shouldn’t unless we are married, but that it’s okay, we could just do it and then he could just confess his sins or something like that… –Broadway & Prince Overheard by: Dan Lesbian to group: So, what is the reason behind getting married, besides pretending to be heterosexual? Exactly — presents! –Party, Brooklyn Overheard by: Jude
Excited teen: Danny! Check out my new MacBook Pro!
Danny: Wow, a Mac? So, now what? You’re going to buy black-rimmed glasses, a shirt from Urban Outfitters, and the new Franz Ferdinand CD?
Excited teen: But… You already have all that stuff. –Columbia
Girl: What are you eating?
Guy: I don’t know, I was just like, “Put whatever you want on bread.” –Columbia University Overheard by: helena vozhd
Security guard #1: Yes sir, yes sir, I am definitely gonna put my pimp foot forward, yes sir, and then I'm gonna go home and change into my Superman outfit…and drink some coffee. Yes sir!
Security guard #2: Mmhmm! –116th & Amsterdam, Columbia Overheard by: camillia*
College kid #1: …and the astrologers are having to completely change their predictions because Pluto’s not a planet anymore.
College kid #2: That’s crazy.
Random guy: Don’t make fun of astrology. Hitler took astrology seriously. So did Ronald Reagan. And kings and queens. –1 train, 116th St Overheard by: bluekale
Headline by: wiggity
· “Actually, The Queens Only Follow the Movements of Uranus” – Johnny B
· “Astrologists Predict Random Man Wearing Jack Boots Will Disembowel 2 College Kids” – dante mcnasty
· “I Thought Ronald Reagan Got Rid of All the Queens” – C.J.
· “Just When I Had Heard That Stupidity Was in Retrograde…” – tm78
· “Nostradumbass Lives On” – kathy
· “Pluto Is Just a Mickey Mouse Planet” – Elliott Sperber
· “Taurus: Keep Your Wits About You, as True Love Is Around the Corner. Also, You Will Invade Poland.” – Jim C.
· “What Did You Think the Star Wars Program Was About?” – Tom Dorey
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany? –Barracuda Overheard by: barkeeper Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial? –Eugene Lang College Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday? –N Train Overheard by: D-Law Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people? –ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: jennyooooo Student: Is Swedish even a language? –Columbia University Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both? –M86 Crosstown Bus
Hipster: …yeah, I really don’t know…I mean, you see one drag queen on some kinda float, you seen ’em all.
–Le Monde, 112th & Broadway
Guy #1: So yeah, I saw that nigga out in the Village. That man is wilding, bro.
Guy #2: Word?
Guy #1: Yeah, dat nigga is out there rapping fags. He be like in a alley, and he be like, “yo commere”, then he fucks ’em, bro.
Guy #2: Ha, ha. Yo, dat’s fucked up man, that nigga always was crazy. –M14 bus Girl: I totally thought I was going to see my gym teacher here. –7th Avenue & Greenwich Overheard by: Lukas
Black lady #1: Dr. Marbles? Like marbles? Like marbles you pick up and play with?
Black lady #2: Girl, you need to change your tonation… –Columbia Overheard by: Tonation hopefully in check
Young boy: I don’t care what anyone says, I am wearing a red dress on Monday.
Mom: Oh? Well, how are you going to get it?
Young boy: I don’t know, but that’s where you come in.
Mom: I don’t have a red dress.
Young boy: Oh, I thought you did.
Mom: I have a t-shirt with a belt around it. You can wear that. –Near Columbia University Overheard by: sam
Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi…except he probably wouldn’t want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s probably why he wouldn’t have wanted to eat it. –Columbia University