Archive for the ‘Columbia University’ Category

Every Little Wednesday One-Liner Helps

Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?

–English Department, Hostos Community College

Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!

–1 train

Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!

–1 Train

Overheard by: sagehen

Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!

–F Train

Overheard by: yana

So We Played Naked Charades and I Guessed It Right Away

Girl to friend: So, I found out that Jon has herpes and he never told me.
(friend looks at her in shock)
Girl
: Not that kind of herpes, the other kind. But I talked to him about it. It's pretty funny, actually. But he didn't tell me. Well…we don't really talk about stuff like that.


–110th St & Broadway

Headline by: ikki nikki

Runners-Up:
· “…Until I Googled Valtrex, That Is” – keeps on giving
· “Genital Sores Tend to Speak for Themselves” – DCGeek
· “So Long As He Keeps It in His Ass, It Doesn’t Affect Our Relationship” – BenGay
· “The Line for Guest Appearences on Maury Starts Here…” – John
· “We Don’t Want Things to Get Too Simplex” – erak
· “Which Is Why He Doesn’t Know About My Three Abortions” – Jesse
· “You Mean the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Kind Of Herpes?” – leoladie23


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Go to Brooklyn to Eat

Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…

–Amsterdam & 112th

Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.

–84th & 2nd

Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!

–Grand Central