…Like a Gentleman

Man, from second floor window: Bye, babe, can't wait to see you again!
Woman, passing by: You wanna fuck me again, you better get me pizza next time!

–Bradhurst Ave & 150th St

…Says the Kid Who Ordered the “Banana Volcano Explosion”?

Kid #1: You don't wanna get a sample of ice cream? Well, that's cause you're gay!
Kid #2: Are you sure I'm gay?

–Grand Army Plaza

Overheard by: TW

For the Same Reason Girls Do: to Forestall Intimacy

Guy #1: He knew he was gay!
Guy #2: He didn't know he was. He couldn't accept it.
Guy #1: Well, he accepted enough to suck a dick!

–24th & 7th

What's That About?

Passenger #1: What's that movie with Julia Roberts where she plays the runaway bride?
Passenger #2: My Best Friend's Wedding?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: EmLo

Macbeth: Is This Emily I See Before Me, Her Handle Toward My Hand?

Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”

–Coming Out of UWS Bar

Overheard by: That's cold

Travel to the KateMossphere at Your Own Risk

Girlfriend to fiance, while shaking ring off of finger: Look, my ring is getting too big again. Am I losing weight?
Fiance: You're losing weight and I'm losing interest in you.

–E 95th St

Overheard by: Sarah

I Prefer to Think Of Myself As Non-stop Fun

Female tourist: Hey, we're in New York City! We can let our hair down and have fun!
Male tourist: Too bad I'm bald.
Female tourist: Well, you're screwed.

–Starbucks

Are You Hitting on Me, Sir?

Loud woman: You'd better be opening up this back door.
Driver: Yeah, well, you'd best be pushing the tape.

–M15 Bus

Don't Make Me Move You to the Midwest, Son

Cool black guy: I loooooves me some women. Ha, that's why I can't ever be gay, you know? (under breath) I loves me some women…
Young boy with him: I think a gay guy would say the same thing about men.

–E 14th St & 1st Ave

What If Everybody in Brooklyn Felt That Way?

Friend #1: I hope I never have an ugly baby.
Friend #2: Well, then don't get pregnant.

–B38 Bus

Overheard by: Paula Lanier