Archive for the ‘Comedians’ Category

Twenty Drink Minimum

Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Dude: Oh, no thanks.
Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery. –Times Square Overheard by: Adam Robbins

At Least Wednesday One-Liners Are Pretty

Girl to friend: I wonder what’s the difference between hard tacos and soft tacos. –Line at Taco Bell, Queens Mall Food Court Overheard by: NTA Guy talking to his friend: I don’t believe there is a first time for everything, but I do think there is a first time for anything. –2nd St & Ave B Overheard by: Max Berlinger Girl on cell in hallway: She told me to get bacterial soap. –Fordham University, Rose Hill Overheard by: Krisztina ,who uses anti-bacterial Subway comedian: My wife is so stupid. I told her to take the 2 train, she took the 1 twice. [Awkward silence follows. Comedian proceeds to dance around a subway pole pretending to be a stripper.] –1 Train Overheard by: Subway rider Guy on cell: Dude, you’ve got to stop doing this "living paycheck to paycheck" thing because every time you get a check it’s like an emotional highway. –Columbia University Campus Overheard by: Alina College girl, after closing a Nutella jar: I solved it! I solved the puzzle! –Broome St Overheard by: YJL

Vendsday One-Liners

Perfume guy: Gucci! Gucci! Gucci’ll get you a hoochie! –Macy’s Overheard by: alison Woman selling belongings on street: Look here, deodorant! Brand new! One dollar. –44th, between Lex & 3rd Hawker with "Cheney/Satan ’08" bumper stickers: Inappropriate stickers here! –Outside Grand Central Musician to passerby eating cookie: If you like cookies, you’ll love my new album! –9th & 6th Overheard by: Gil AM New York lady to another: Bitch, don’t be comin’ over here! AM New York, people — get your AM New York! Fuck you, you bitch, I been here since seven AM every day this week. Don’t be givin’ me that shit. Get your lazy ass off my corner ‘fore I cut you! Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! AM New York, people, AM New York… –Penn Station Overheard by: BJ Comedy hawker: Free bag of marijuana with your purchase! Yaaay! –43rd & 7th Overheard by: Sarah R