No More Enemas, Huh?

Gray-haired Man: I can get a hell of a lot more with my finger than I can with that. –East of Eighth, 23rd St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Malice Goes to Style Court

Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body. –Style Court Audience Overheard by: Tibbie X

And I Don’t Mean His Voice

Opera Fan: Well the best thing about it is, he’s the closest thing we have to a castrato today. –UES

Not Literally, I Hope

Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit. –Odessa, Ave. A

…and really ironic

Young woman: I’m a lot better at hiding my feelings than you are. I’m REALLY UPSET. –Union Square

Overheard re: New Jersey

Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey. –Murray Hill deli Overheard by: Neelam S.

Maybe I’m Squeezing You Too Hard (AKA Escape from the Port Authority)

Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris

Remember to Invite Ivan and Che

Father: Having you and your mother in the same room is like having the Communist party. –Murray Hill

NYers on the Issues: Hunks

Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole. –Starbucks, W. 4th St. Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school. Her two friends start laughing immediately. –Jane, Soho Overheard by: Tamika J.

Damn Robots Taking Our Jobs!

Businessman #1: Hey man, guess what I just found out? Martin is a robot!
Businessman #2: I always thought so. At least he’s a good robot. –Times Square Overheard by: Greg Rutter