Archive for the ‘Compare/Contrast’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war. –Therapy Store Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars. –31St & Ditmars, Astoria Overheard by: Randi and Patrick (at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton! –Midtown Overheard by: Oh the irony 50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Ksenia Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war! –7 Train

We Prefer to Think of Wednesday One-Liners as “Found Art”

Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian! –19th & 6th Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: traPt Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability. –Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do. –20th & 5th Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis! –Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art

There Are No Small Wednesdays– Only Small One-Liners.

Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please! –72nd & Columbus Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Katy Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair. –Victoria's Secret Overheard by: Emm Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man. –Union Square Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: TheMac

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you. –M116 Bus Overheard by: I hate the bus Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty! –Allen & East Houston Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free. –33rd & Broadway Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all. –Times Square Overheard by: yearbookie Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you. –South Williamsburg Overheard by: DanielXY Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees. –Central Park