Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei. –Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th Overheard by: Steven Coombs
Hobo: Damn, that nigga be happier than a faggot in a bag of dick. –125th & Lexington
GOP Chick #1: It’s not so much the church as the people.
GOP Chick #2: What’s wrong with the people?
GOP Chick #1: There’s a lot of singles. –New York Young Republicans Party, Flatiron District
Girl: You have got to go inside and tell my boyfriend not to get the nose ring. A real one’s OK, but a fake is just stupid. –St. Mark’s Place
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now? –East Village Overheard by: Tibbie X
Stewardess: Please keep all your bags underneath the seat in front of you, cause I’m the bag Nazi and I’ll come back and yell at you! –Plane, LaGuardia
Playa on cell: I know there will. That’s why I’m not bringin’ my shortie. You don’t bring sand to the beach, playa. Huh-huh. –Stanton + Forsythe, LES Overheard by: Cityrag.com (Hi, Buddy!)
Crazy customer: So you’re the manager?
Manager: That’s right.
Crazy customer: OK, then I needed to talk to you. Now, I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble. But this order is for my boss and she’s a flat out bitch.
Crazy customer: The last time I was here, I ordered your boneless wings. And I got buffalo wings.
Manager: Wow, I’m sorry about that.
Crazy customer: Then I’ve got to go back to the office and hear about it. And your man there wasn’t being helpful at all.
Manager: Well, try to put yourself in his shoes. Sometimes things get really busy and you can get swamped being the only guy at the register, and maybe you’re not as polite as you should be.
Crazy customer: I worked at Wendy’s, McDonald’s AND Kentucky Fried Chicken at the Junction. I took a lot of crap from general managers.
Crazy customer: If someone wanted their sandwich upside down, that’s how I gave it to them. I got buffalo wings and then I’ve got to eat it. I don’t want them!
Manager: Well, here’s your order. Thanks for saying something.
Crazy customer: So this is ten boneless wings?
Crazy customer: Thanks. I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. It’s just that I’m going to hear it from her if it’s wrong, and she’s a bitch. She just called me and she wanted me to get her to downtown Brooklyn in an hour. Excuse me? Do I have a rocketship?
Manager: Right, right.
Crazy customer: So these aren’t buffalo wings, right?
Manager: Ten boneless wings with bleu cheese. –Pluck U., East Village
Middle-aged man: So they say to me, ‘Ken, just because you have that gun on us doesn’t make you any better than us’.
Friend: Um, yeah.
Middle-aged man: And I said to them, ‘That’s what I’m talking about, man, that’s what I’m talking about!’ –Delancey St. Overheard by: cityrag.com
Older woman: It seems like you’re really happy!
Younger man: Yes, I am. And it seems like Jonah is really happy, too.
Older woman: We think that happiness is over-rated. We are not happy. We are possessed. – Gallery opening on Rivington St.