The Worst Pick-up Line Ever

Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company. –Halloween Party, Greenwich Village

Overheard re: New Jersey

Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey. –Murray Hill deli Overheard by: Neelam S.

Damn Robots Taking Our Jobs!

Businessman #1: Hey man, guess what I just found out? Martin is a robot!
Businessman #2: I always thought so. At least he’s a good robot. –Times Square Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Work Gets in the Way of My Me Time

Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah. –1 Train Overheard by: Danger

Gin Makes a Woman Mean

Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home. He closes her cab door and walks away. –Bleecker St. Overheard by: Stephie Russell

All Caste System Questions Aside

South Asian guy: You have a black friend?
South Asian girl: Yeah.
South Asian guy: Wow, I have a black friend too!
South Asian girl: Ah, well, mine is actually really nice!

–102nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Flyin' Thing

Where the Society Ladies Circle Like Sharks

Man to woman in restaurant bar: Do you live around here?
Woman: I live at 21st and Broadway.
Man: Oh, that's a nice area.
Woman: Yeah, but tomorrow I'm moving to a bad area. The Upper East Side.

–Palma, West Village

Overheard by: Kristina Feliciano

Who's Gonna Tell Him He Can't?

Man #1: Nice beard. You look like Santa!
Man #2, gesturing to his jacket: Santa? Does Santa drive a Harley too?

–72nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Natasha

What Is the Net Value Of This Relationship? Show Your Work.

Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.

–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St

Overheard by: Ian

Uh-Oh, All My Secrets Are Falling Out

Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!

–Q Train