Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category

Beauty and the Beatdown

Daughter: Belle looks so beautiful.
Dad: I think your mom is prettier.
Mom: Oh, thanks, honey.
Guy behind them: Someone wants to get laid tonight. —Beauty and the Beast showing Overheard by: Amanda

Bill Cosby Started Out the Same Way

Girl #1: Oh, I like your sweater!
Girl #2: Oh, thanks, my mom gave it to me. You know it's funny, she gave it to me a few months ago because she said New York winters are cold and I have nothing that's wool. I was like, “Mom, you cannot seriously expect me to wear this for real.” Last week I wore it as a joke, but then everyone was like “That sweater is so cool!” so now this time I'm wearing it for real.
Girl #2: Good decision. –Classroom, Fordham University Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand

Did You Feel As Dirty As I Did When He Said “Tastebud Sensation”?

Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English. –Liquor Store, Manhattan Overheard by: daile

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control. –Barnard College Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that. –Cort Theater Overheard by: office peon Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old. –Bryant Park Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done." –Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: jon Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show. –51st St & 8th Ave