Archive for the ‘Condoms’ Category

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!" –Spring St Overheard by: Maria Emma Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too! –Williamsburg Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby! –Times Square Overheard by: Aalok Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby. –6th Ave & 4th St

The Country Finally Gets the Wednesday One-Liner It Deserves

20-something guy to five-year-old boy: No, Wolverine and Barack Obama are not the same person. –Hudson Park Soccer Pitch Overheard by: Kelli Jo Swag guy: Get your Obama condoms, put it on when times get hard. –7th Ave & 47th St Overheard by: Oh no he didn't…. Hobo on train: Look at these two girls! If we get married we can make another Obama! –4 Train Cute boy: Captain Kirk is the Bush to Picard's Obama. –Kent Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Trekkie Diner to companion: Since Obama's been President, North Korea has fired like two missiles. They're testing his foreign policy, uh, you know, they're testing his gallstones. –Teddy's Restaurant, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ken Yapelli Sock street vendor to passersby: Socks! One dollar, one dollar! One dollar!
(nobody pays attention) Socks! One dollar! Obama! One dollar! Obama! (a few pedestrians stop to browse through his socks) –New Chinatown, Flushing, Queens

Use a Wednesday, So You Don't Get One-Linered Up

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. –Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station Overheard by: Jon A. Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm? –Times Square Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously! –Broadway & 103rd St Overheard by: Amy Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom. –Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control. –Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms. –14th St & 4th Ave

I Like It Better When They Talk About Starbucks

Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Daniel Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills. –31st & 2nd Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee. –outside The Brooklyn Museum Overheard by: Josh Neufeld Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped. –Vertigo, 26th & 3rd Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella. –Delancey & Allen Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers! –14th & 6th Overheard by: Funky Monkey Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already! –2nd Ave & 9th Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times! –Times Square Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that? –Astor Place Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection! –Babies"R"Us, Union Square Overheard by: miziz