NYU guy #1: If a girl asked me to go buy her some tampons, I wouldn't care.
NYU guy #2: Yeah. Actually, I'd rather buy tampons than condoms.
NYU guy #1: Yeah! Because like, with condoms it's like “yes, I am planning on having sex tonight”! But with tampons it's more like, “oh, what are you gonna use those for? A nose bleed?”
–Starbucks
Overheard by: fair point.
Archive for the ‘Condoms’ Category
Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!
Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"
–Spring St
Overheard by: Maria Emma
Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!
–Williamsburg
Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Aalok
Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.
–6th Ave & 4th St
Then, for My Final Trick, I Shall Pull a Rabbit Out Of His Anus.
Girl: I think I am going to start banging him, then rip off the condom and surprise him by sucking him off.
Friend: You classy broad.
–Upper East Side
Or Maybe That Was “Don't Use a Hotplate in Your Bedroom.” Hmm…
Catholic schoolgirl #1: I think I'm going to have sex with my boyfriend tonight.
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Well, you know… you can't use a condom.
Catholic schoolgirl #1: Really?
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Yeah… they taught us that in school, hello?!
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jessa
For Instance, If She's a Relative.
20-something guy #1: You don't go to see a bitch without a condom.
20-something guy #2: Depending on how well I know her, yeah I do.
–Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Doesn't Look Good for the Public Healthcare Option
20-something-guy: Obama condoms, for long and hard times!
Tourist mom: What's an Obama condom?
Tourist dad: I have no idea.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Shannon
No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love
50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Funky Monkey
Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!
–2nd Ave & 9th
Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!
–Times Square
Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?
–Astor Place
Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!
–Babies"R"Us, Union Square
Overheard by: miziz
Just Sperm Of Dubious Provenance
Cosmetology student #1: I'm so happy I got my period.
Cosmetology student #2: What, you're not on the pill or condoms?
Cosmetology student #1: No, I don't let chemicals into my body. (takes long drag on a Lucky Strike)
–Varick & Vandam
Overheard by: Aveda Esthiology Student
If Only I Knew What It Tasted Like…
Gangsta #1: A glass elevator! Supersonic!
Gangsta #2: Goin' down?
Gangsta #1: This thing looks like a giant condom.
Gangsta #2: Now I know what my cum feels like when I'm bangin' my girl.
–Apple Store, 59th St
Overheard by: Matt w
Some Sex Ed Videos Go Overboard in Their Attempts to Relate to Teens
Girl: But you have to wear condoms, though, man.
Guy: I know, man! But it's crazy, man.
–Bronx Community College