Archive for the ‘Coney Island’ Category

Wednesday Bites the Big One-Liner

Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car! –57th & 3rd Overheard by: Duluthian Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died. –Nathan's, Coney Island Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea? –Penn Station 20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days. –8th Ave & 15th St Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive. –Amtrak Train to Penn Station Overheard by: Paige

Wednesday One-Liners and the Law Of the Harvest

Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me? –7th Ave & W 18th Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real? –4 Train Overheard by: DCBX Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying! –Middle school, Coney Island Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn." –Gramercy

Wednesday One-Linering Miss Daisy

Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you. –Doctor's Waiting Room Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one. –Jackson Heights Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks! –6 Train Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year! –Madison Square Park Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks. –Coney Island


Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes. –Coney Island Overheard by: Sunny