Archive for the ‘Coney Island’ Category

Eek.

Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes. –Coney Island Overheard by: Sunny

Wednesday One-Liners Will Cut a Bitch

Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch! –Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch! –27th St, between 6th and 7th Overheard by: Hungry Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"! –27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington Overheard by: V Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed! –Coney Island Ave & Newkirk 30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: CourtSnort Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h? –M60 Bus Overheard by: Jingles

Wednesday One-Liners Locate Carmen Sandiego

Guy on cell: I'm walking to my room from breakfast. Then I'm going to take a dump. Then I'm going downstairs. –Hallway, Marriott Courtyard Hotel Barista walking in, to no one in particular: Unfortunately, I'm here. –Starbucks, Brighton Beach Overheard by: Robert Lost tourist: We are stuck here in the middle of Times Square! –Rockefeller Center NYU girl on phone: Hello? No. No, I can't meet you. Because I'm lost. I'm lost in the West Village. You know how the streets there get weird? I have no idea where I am. I've been wandering around for hours and I don't know if I'll ever make it back, ever! No, don't try to find me, I haven't seen any street signs in ages. Okay, see you tomorrow…maybe not. –Union Square Loud black drag queen yelling into cell: Bitch, don't play with me! I know where you at!
(pause) Where you at? –34th St & 8th Ave

Looking for a Date, Wednesday One-Liners?

White guy to friend: Do they eat Thai hookers? I'd eat a Thai hooker. –47th & Lexington 30-something pudgy guy: So this girl was eyeing me the whole night, and it turns out she was a prostitute! And I was like, "Man! I thought she really liked me!" –Bleecker St & 6th Ave Girl in tight purple dress and too much makeup, shouting to friend: I am not a prostitute. I'm a ho! –Phone Booth, Coney Island Overheard by: not going there Mom to son: I'm not a two-dollar hooker! More like a…hundred thousand dollar one. –Park Ave Elderly man to another: You just can't run a country like a whorehouse. –12th St & Ave A Girl on cell: You stole my secret prostitute name! –7th Ave & LeRoy St