Archive for the ‘Construction Guys’ Category

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you. –M116 Bus Overheard by: I hate the bus Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty! –Allen & East Houston Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free. –33rd & Broadway Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all. –Times Square Overheard by: yearbookie Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you. –South Williamsburg Overheard by: DanielXY Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees. –Central Park

Caution: Wednesday One-Liners at Work

Hardhat: Walk in the walkway, people! It’s much safer! Watch out for the cabs! They hurt! –Broadway & Fulton Overheard by: Adam Nathan Chunky Mexican hardhat: I might not have a million dollars, but I got a big fat dick to put in her ass. –St. Patrick’s Cathedral Hardhat: Awright, look — after lunch, I’ll get you a grinder, and then we’re having a three-way, okay? –Barnard College Overheard by: Vicksburg Hardhat on cell: So, when you say you want to cheat, do you mean a one-time thing, or is this something you plan on doing again and again? –14th St, between 6th & 7th Ave Hardhat to another: Bitch, please! I asked for a pink soda! I’m not going to drink this shit! –10th & 3rd Overheard by: Veronika LaRocque

Dude, We’re Not Relatives

Large maintenance man #1: Yo, you remember your little girl you left a while back?
Large maintenance man #2: Fuck, man, why you gotta bring that up?
Large maintenance man #1: I think I fucked her last night.
Large maintenance man #2: How the hell would you know that?
Large maintenance man #1: ‘Cause she made that face you make when you lift shit. –15th St & Union Sq West Overheard by: margo

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jumana Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Rich R. Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice) –Waverly Place & 5th Ave Overheard by: steph Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You! –Humboldt & Withers Overheard by: francesca Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down. –Williams St Overheard by: Sonya