Archive for the ‘Construction Guys’ Category

The Creation of the Prostitution Merit Badge

(in front of national HQ of Girl Scouts of America)
Construction worker #1
: Do you see all the rich marble they used on this building?

Construction worker #2: Yeah. They sure had to sell a lot of fuckin’ cookies to afford it.

–37th St b/w 5th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: dodgerswill

Headline by: C.J.

Runners-Up:
· “Actually, the United States Thin Mint Just Prints Them Money” – Lauren
· “I’ll Take 7,954,300,348,000 Boxes Of Thin Mints Please!” – Eino Hill
· “It’s Actually Constructed Of Stale Do-Si-Dos and the Corpses Of Girls Who Didn’t Reach Their Quota” – Matthew K. Johnson
· “The Building Was Funded by an Anonymous Benefactor, on the Condition That It Be Built on Sesame Street.” – James
· “The Reason They Added Heroin to Thin Mints” – ILOVEThinMints
· “Turning Tricks Is for Kids” – Qasar
· “You Should See the Boy Scouts Of America HQ… Don’t Ask What They Sold.” – fox


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Your Editors Hope a Knowledgeable Reader Will Explain This to Us

Bald construction guy: Dude, if you fell down while she was going down on you, I probably would have peed all over her. (swinging motion with hand at crotch area) Oooohhhh.
Suit: Oh my god, if you did that I would have started peeing on her too.

–Pizza Wagon, 86th Street

Overheard by: Trying to Enjoy my Lunch over here

Mr. McCain’s Co-Workers Have Grown Weary of That Line

Hardhat to ticket agent: Yo, what time you get out?
Ticket agent: At one.
Hardhat: Me too. It’s great gettin’ out at one.
Ticket agent: Yeah, but I got class after.
Hardhat: Well, better than bein’ in a Chinese prison camp.

–Water-Taxi Booth, Queens

Overheard by: obviously not as high as he is

So That’s How It Spreads

[Homeless man is giving directions to tourists.]
Construction worker to tourists below
: Don’t listen to that guy, he’s a homeless bum. He don’t know what he’s talking about, he’s crazy. Seriously, stop talking to him, he’s just a whacked out homeless guy.

Homeless man: Yeah, well… You’re homeless! Yeah, how you like that?

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: adrift midwestern hipster

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park