Guy on cell: …I’m fine, really. It was not a good time to come to London, though. The police are all running around looking worried. I should be back in New York in a few days. –Duane Reade, Broadway & 84th Overheard by: kenny
Old codger #1: McDonald's are a lot safer now, cops to go them.
Old codger #2: Yeah, probably to get McFlurrys.
Overheard by: JDRK
Three policemen are talking to a man inside Two Boots Pizza behind the security gate and locked front door, 9 am Sunday morning.
Cop: How did you get in here?
Man: I woke up here in the middle of the night!
Cop: Do you work here?
Man: No! –Avenue A
Chick on cell: Yeah, but the possibility of being hit by the log is too great… And I don’t know if I want to take that risk.
–Train to Glen Rock
Young suit: I always have problems with zippers. Once, I was putting on my pants and my leg went through the zipper instead of the leg hole. It made a ‘rip’ noise, and then it broke.
–West End Ave
Traffic cop waving cars through pedestrian-flooded intersection: C’mon, c’mon! If they get hit, they get hit.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Jobee, a pedestrian
Teen boy: Those signs are idiotic. If the kid runs out in front of your car, you’re going to hit him whether he’s deaf or not!
–Bedford Park, Bronx
Overheard by: Cousin It
Go-go dancer boy: I’m totally the only one who hasn’t fallen off the bar yet.
–Pier 45, Hudson River Park
Overheard by: Palest Girl on the Lawn
Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!
–17th & Irving
(pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.
Overheard by: momes
Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car!
–Jerry Orbach St
Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car.
–Broadway & Houston
Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over!
Overheard by: lex
Wasted yuppie dude: Officer, officer!
Wasted yuppie dude: That bouncer at Stan's?
Wasted yuppie dude: He's on fucking steroids!
–159th St & River Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Matt
Mother on stoop: You need to get inside this house, now.
Fat 11-year old boy: Ten more minutes!
Mother: No, now.
Fat 11-year old boy (yelling): Ten! More! Minutes!
Mother: Don't make me call the cops!
–23rd & 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Claire H.
Bemused tourist: I can't believe the Coast Guard just rescued that kid's soccer ball.
Kid running by: That's the eighth time he's done that!
–Staten Island Port
Overheard by: tastycanucks
Guido #1: So the fuckin’ Chink cop hands me the ticket, and I say, ‘Fuck you, ya fuckin’ Chink-ass cocksucker. Take this ticket and shove it up your Chink ass, you lo mein-suckin’, General Tso-fuckin’, slanty-eyed fuck.’
Guido #2: You said that to him?!
Guido #1: Yeah, after he drove away.
–Kings Plaza Diner, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E