Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

A Lovin’ Spoonful of Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs! –Brooklyn Heights Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love! –47th & 5th Overheard by: anon Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people! –23rd Ave, Astoria Overheard by: sara n. Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you. –93rd & Broadway Overheard by: punkee Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day! –Lafayette & Astor Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now? –Hudson St Overheard by: lilli

Then What's the War on Polyester?

Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something. –Hollywood Video, Staten Island

Alice: I Could Go for Some Dwarfs

Husband: Geez! Alls you do is sit on your ass and play with the kids.
Wife: I’m sorry I am not Carol-freaking-Brady! We have six fucking kids and I still have no Alice! Give me a break and cook dinner your-fucking-self! The kids are eating PB&J — end of discussion.
Husband: The Brady Bunch was for me like Snow White was for you.
Wife: But the dwarfs here don’t whistle while they work. I still want Alice!
Husband: You always get the last word. I can’t top that! Dammit! –Soho Overheard by: Laura

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Young queer on cell, laughing: I mean, what is he going to blackmail me with? –9th & 47th Overheard by: wondering Older queer to boyfriend: There's nothing like listening to Bach after having sex! –W 72nd St, Record Store Overheard by: I'll have to try that sometime… (40-something gay guy is looking through a clearance rack of mismatched outerwear under sign that reads "Big and tall active bottoms")
60-something gay guy, yelling: Good luck, dahling, you're in the wrong section. Find where the big desperate bottoms are and try that! –KMart, Penn Station Overheard by: RoverUSA Gay black man to whimpering toddler held by mother: Don't even start with me… Thank the Lord you ain't my kid. –M15 Bus Young, good looking gay guy to much older ugly boyfriend: My ex-boyfriend always bought me presents… –86th St & Lexington

But Let’s Not Talk about Eggs, Okay?

40-ish woman: I’m probably just being overly sensitive, but I feel like people are looking at us when we’re together and wondering why I’m so much older…
20-ish guy: You shouldn’t let it get to you. Look, you’re not an egg salad sandwich — you’re not going to go bad after a certain date.
40-ish woman: That’s a beautiful thing to say.
20-ish guy: Yes, I’m quite a catch! You should be enjoying it more and worrying less! –Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl