Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category

Wait, Back Up. Why Can’t You Go Anymore?

Female employee #1: You need to go to church.
Female employee #2: Hell no, I can’t go to church anymore [laughs mischievously].
Female employee #1: You don’t go to church?
Female employee #2: Uh-uh.
Female employee #1: Whatever! Yo, at my church, like, gangs and shit be comin’ on Sundays. The Crips are all on one side and the Bloods all on the other. It’s crazy. They be wearin’ their colors and shit, too.

–Century 21

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

I Don’t Think You Quite Grasp This Manliness Business

Electric guy to himself: Where’s my gloves?
Grip guy: Gloves? I don’t use gloves. I use my bare hands like a man! Only pussies use gloves. Are you a pussy? Be a man, ya pussy.
Electric guy: But then my skin will get all dry and crack and stuff.
Grip guy: Duh, well, yeah. That’s why you have to moisturize.

–Movie set of I Am Legend

Overheard by: Another electric guy

Why Would Anybody Do That?

Broker #1: There was a suicide attack in Israel yesterday.
Broker #2: How many people died?
Broker #1: Luckily, only three. They did it in a resort town in the South called Eilat.
Broker #2: They probably did that to get away with it.
Broker #1: It’s a suicide attack. They don’t get away with it, they get blown to pieces.

–Office, Chrysler Building

Overheard by: BoredBroker

But There's Just One Where I Get All My News From

Coworker #1: Wow, I can't believe the space shuttle exploded.
Coworker #2: That's what they get.
Coworker #1: What!?
Coworker #2: Who told them to go into space? That's what they get for flying in the face of god!
Coworker #1: What the hell are you talking about?
Coworker #2: They shouldn't be there. Why do you think every time the space shuttle comes back there are new diseases and shit!
Coworker #1: So you're saying there is life in space!?
Coworker #3: It's true, it's true! They're coming out with new types of onions every day!

–Retail Store Stockroom, Manhattan