Middle-aged man: So they say to me, ‘Ken, just because you have that gun on us doesn’t make you any better than us’.
Friend: Um, yeah.
Middle-aged man: And I said to them, ‘That’s what I’m talking about, man, that’s what I’m talking about!’
–Delancey St.
Overheard by: cityrag.com
Archive for the ‘Crazies’ Category
Bird’s Eye for the Straight Guy
Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Those Wacky Homeless
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
When Queer Eye Attacks
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay. –Union Square
Now That You Mention It…
Crazy Old Lady: I can’t do it. What could I do? Do you want to kill me? –Bensonhurst
Diner Fun
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Blackout Fun
Hysterical Man: The bridge is swinging! Everybody get off the bridge!
Reasonable Man: It’s supposed to swing! This is a suspension bridge!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Let’s Pluck Him and Stuff Our Coats
Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack!
–Wall Street
Get This Man a TV Show!
Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Passenger: Sure.
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I’d want them to use jelly.
Passenger: Yep.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.
–R train
Overheard by: Johnny Shizzle
Homeless Monologues III
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?