Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay. –Union Square
Crazy Old Lady: I can’t do it. What could I do? Do you want to kill me? –Bensonhurst
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Hysterical Man: The bridge is swinging! Everybody get off the bridge!
Reasonable Man: It’s supposed to swing! This is a suspension bridge! –Brooklyn Bridge
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog? –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Jonathan
Strand Guy: Hey, John! How are you?
John: Seven days, man. Seven days.
Strand Guy: Hopefully the world will be safe for democracy.
John: I dunno. Halliburton has some no bid contracts.
Strand Guy: You believe that?!
John: Yeah. –Strand Basement
Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack! –Wall Street
Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I’d want them to use jelly.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.
Overheard by: Johnny Shizzle