Archive for the ‘Crazies’ Category

The Superfluous Eruditeness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon. –Barnard College Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia! –Columbia University Overheard by: John David Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin! –Nassau & Fulton Overheard by: Tigertail First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity. –Grand Central Overheard by: bunbury Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right? –70th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Grow on Trees

Crazy guy: Look at you people. All y’all paying eighteen, nineteen hundred dollars rent. I pay two dollars rent! And I get a free transfer! –Uptown A Train Overheard by: Heather Smoking girl: I’m just not going to put all of this money and time into this degree and then take a job that pays less than $100,000 after I graduate. I mean, I’m just *not*. –Outside Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Bored street fundraiser for the homeless: Just one penny, people. Just one penny. Blah, blah, blah. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Farley Crazy guy: You motherfucking actors with all your fucking money and shit… I hate you… But boy did I want to be an actor when I was young. –Outside NBC Studios, 49th & 6th Overheard by: Ross Frustrated booth operator, yelling at an argumentative tourist: Lady, this subway hasn’t used tokens in over seven years! And that ain’t even a token… It’s a one collar coin! –Subway, Spring & Lafayette Overheard by: NYC Tourists Never Cease to Amaze Me 50-something ticket collector to high school girl: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your change. (pause) I will never forget you. (walks away) –Metro-North Train Mother to young daughter running down the street: Get over here before I make change outta that five dollar ass! –168 & Broadway

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets. –10 Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: Jarrod Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options. –Grand St, Chinatown Overheard by: Mike Posillico Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song. –Bx15 Bus Overheard by: Karly Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold! –34th & 3rd Overheard by: Dahouhou Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there. –14th St, across Doomed Megastore Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin