Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough. –Bowling Green Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York. –Worth & Broadway Overheard by: Half Shirt Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.” –Office, Carnegie Hall Overheard by: inge Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas! –Uptown R train Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this! –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th Overheard by: Dr. Mary Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city! –Times Square Overheard by: Jen Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here! –Times Square
Woman: Have a good new year.
Crazy old lady: What? When’s that?
Crazy old lady: You earthlings have the strangest ideas. –Dog park, E 86th St
Drunk crazy woman (slurring words): Yeah? Well, fuck you!
Drunk crazy dude: Yeah! Well, you haven't given me a boner in four years!
Random passerby: Oh, damn! –Bedford Ave & 11th Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Chick #1: Fucking aliens, man!
Chick #2: I know. They’re in power.
Chick #1: I started to watch X-Files the movie last night. Fucked up shit, dude.
Chick #2: I couldn’t watch it after a while.
Chick #1: Fucking government. They are so involved. They know. They know what the fuck is going on.
Chick #2: Oh, I know this. People need to understand — they want us dead. I should not get started on this. Yo, war of the worlds — so fucking true.
Chick #1: The aliens are going to fucking come from under ground, and they are just going to tear shit apart!
Chick #2: Stop… We have to sleep soon, and this kind of talk will not help our dreams.
Chick #1: If I’m going to go, I hope it’s quick. I don’t think I could handle living on a ship and being tortured.
Chick #2: You’re right. You are right.
Chick #1: But, yo–
Chick #2: –This is some serious shit! I have been saying this for a long time!
Chick #1: Fuck. Bring the dinosaurs back instead!
Chick #2: You are out of control.
Chick #1: No, no, no. I would rather have T-rex roaming the streets than some lanky, big-eyed motherfucker that can blow you up with its mind!
Chick #2: Okay, you have a point.
Chick #1: See?! –L train Overheard by: stephers
Crazy guy: Pawns and shields. Pawns and shields and a meal ticket. That’s all kids are good for. –L train Overheard by: Thomas Byrd
Crazy guy: Yo! Hey, Superman! A dude with a Superman shirt looks horrified. Crazy guy: Yo, man! I’m just like you! I’m Spider-Man! He pulls up his shirt and yanks his underwear up out from under his pants, revealing a Spider-Man logo. Crazy guy: See? You know, if you wasn’t a dude, I wouldn’t have shown you. The Superman dude sees two younger girls watching and laughing. Crazy guy: Yo, don’t talk about me when you get off the train! –L train Overheard by: Matthias
Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman. –Penn Station
Crazy man: Why you gotta stick your dick in a man? How can you be a Latin King and stick your dick in a man? –6 train Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain't gonna be gay! –14th St & Ave B
Crazy Asian bag lady: My pasta! Who took my pasta!? You! (points to yuppie guy) You took it!
Yuppie guy: Lady, does it look like I need your pasta?
Crazy Asian bag lady: Calm down, asshole, it's just pasta. I think I told David he could have it. –W 52nd