Archive for the ‘Crazies’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Learn About the Natives Using Participant Observation

Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough. –Bowling Green Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York. –Worth & Broadway Overheard by: Half Shirt Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.” –Office, Carnegie Hall Overheard by: inge Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas! –Uptown R train Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this! –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th Overheard by: Dr. Mary Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city! –Times Square Overheard by: Jen Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here! –Times Square

Too Bad the Choice Is Not in Our Hands

Chick #1: Fucking aliens, man!
Chick #2: I know. They’re in power.
Chick #1: I started to watch X-Files the movie last night. Fucked up shit, dude.
Chick #2: I couldn’t watch it after a while.
Chick #1: Fucking government. They are so involved. They know. They know what the fuck is going on.
Chick #2: Oh, I know this. People need to understand — they want us dead. I should not get started on this. Yo, war of the worlds — so fucking true.
Chick #1: The aliens are going to fucking come from under ground, and they are just going to tear shit apart!
Chick #2: Stop… We have to sleep soon, and this kind of talk will not help our dreams.
Chick #1: If I’m going to go, I hope it’s quick. I don’t think I could handle living on a ship and being tortured.
Chick #2: You’re right. You are right.
Chick #1: But, yo–
Chick #2: –This is some serious shit! I have been saying this for a long time!
Chick #1: Fuck. Bring the dinosaurs back instead!
Chick #2: You are out of control.
Chick #1: No, no, no. I would rather have T-rex roaming the streets than some lanky, big-eyed motherfucker that can blow you up with its mind!
Chick #2: Okay, you have a point.
Chick #1: See?! –L train Overheard by: stephers

I Hope Blogging About It Is Okay

Crazy guy: Yo! Hey, Superman! A dude with a Superman shirt looks horrified. Crazy guy: Yo, man! I’m just like you! I’m Spider-Man! He pulls up his shirt and yanks his underwear up out from under his pants, revealing a Spider-Man logo. Crazy guy: See? You know, if you wasn’t a dude, I wouldn’t have shown you. The Superman dude sees two younger girls watching and laughing. Crazy guy: Yo, don’t talk about me when you get off the train! –L train Overheard by: Matthias