Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
–Penn Station
Archive for the ‘Crazy’ Category
Now, Just to Be Clear, Would That Train Take Me to Funkytown?
Young lady suit #1, about old lady suit screaming insanely on phone: You hear her? Yeah, she's… She's on the wrong track, I think. She might actually be getting on the crazy train soon.
Young lady suit #2: Yeah, the crazy train.
Young lady suit #1: She's going to take the crazy train all the way to crazy town. I bet it's a magic town.
Young lady suit #2: Sure, it's magic.
Young lady suit #1: A magic town. You'd need a special train to get there. It must be the Hogwarts express.
Young lady suit #2: I think I'll take your calls today.
Young lady suit #1: I'll see you on the platform.
–27th St & Park Ave
I'm Talking Pledge-to-America Crazy
Girl #1: You being serious?
Girl #2: Hell yeah!
Girl #1: I think you're crazy!
–Central Park
Who's a Good Wednesday One-Liner? You Are!
Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!
–University & 9th
Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!
–East Village
Overheard by: Z
Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Um, Hello, They Were Muppets!
Dude #1: I'm telling you that statue has something to do with it.
Dude #2: Why am I even here? I can't believe I'm following you on a quest to find a buried treasure because bunch of puppets told you to.
–Columbus Circle
Also What Freshman Orientation Is Like at Cornell.
Girl #1: Ugh, Brooklyn Tech is so odd. But the kids are mad cool. We're all like demented nerds. It's your typical urban Brooklyn high school, but with super-genius kids. Super-genius kids that ain't right in da head. But ya know, we kick ass.
Girl #2: Damn straight! Dem otha kids got nuthin on us.
Boy: Yo, you guys are whack! No wonder you are here.
Crowd of kids: Word!
–DeKalb Ave
Simon Cowell: Your Wednesday One-Liner Was Just Horrible!
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Reform Wednesday One-Liners
Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.
–47th St & 8th
Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: NosyMormon
Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.
–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St
Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.
–98th St & Broadway
Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.
–Queens
20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Isn't That Amy Bishop?
Asian girlfriend, yelling: Get out of my store! You always make customers angry!
Asian boyfriend, yelling back: You are the professor of psycho!
–Bodega, Upper West Side
And Wednesday Said, “Let There Be One-Liners.”
Guy on cell: Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Can you hear me? Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
–Bus
Overheard by: Is God trying to tell you something?
Intense man, grasping woman's shoulders: God wanted me to, and I was ready to.
–Near Riverside Church, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: I wish I knew more
Guy, in awed tones, hearing "Le nozze di Figaro" through open window: It's like the voice of God…
–The Bronx
Overheard by: ground floor music lover
Crazy man: There is only one God. There is only one real deal. I can't afford sex anymore.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: That took a turn