Archive for the ‘Creepsters’ Category

Vegetarians Won't Eat Anything with a Wednesday One-Liner

(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man
: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!


–M101 Bus

(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him
: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!


–Union Square

Overheard by: I Looked Away

Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!

–Q Train

Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.

–30 Rock

Overheard by: MusicMagGirl

When You Watch Enough SVU, You Become Impervious to Weirdos

Crazy dude with shades to woman chatting with friend: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna blow you, suck you, fuck the two of you bitches hard, you know why? Cause I'm a faggot!
Women: (blank stare)
Crazy dude with shades: Then I can kill you, too. (maniacal laughter)
Women: (continue their jovial conversation)

–F Train

Overheard by: Craig

We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day.

–West Village

Overheard by: Joe

Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ashley Nelson

Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Lizzzzz

Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town.

–1 Train

Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city.

–City Hall

Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous

Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Too Many Wednesday One-Liners to Count

Loud obnoxious girl in movie theater: Oh yeah, I confuse a billion and a million all the time.

–Union Square Movie Theatre

College student to friend: Yo, I know doctors that are making mad money but are still behind because of their student loans! One of them told me that I should go to a CUNY or SUNY for my undergrad, then spend the big bucks at a private college for my grad. Yo, it costs $200,000 to go to school, that's like half a million dollars!

–E Train

Overheard by: hopefully he won't be measuring doses

Creepy bald tattooed guy: 30% of communication is verbal. (creepy lady nods) And that means that the other 60% is done with our bodies…I've done the research it's incredible.

–Spring St & Greene St

Overheard by: Seth

Girl on phone: Yeah, so everyone else had like 3, or 5, and I had 75.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jenn

Blonde teen on cell: 12 is not a baker's dozen, it's only a dozen. A baker's dozen is like 144. I've only slept with twelve guys, okay? Get off my back!

–Amsterdam Ave b/w 90th & 91st