Archive for the ‘Creepsters’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner Can Be Made Of Ivory, Glass, Rubber and Sometimes Wood

Loud girl to friend: How the hell do you lose your vibrator?

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm just waiting in line at Whole Foods. Still want me to bring the dildo over?

–Whole Foods

Gay man to boyfriend: I'm glad we could come here and show your coworkers that we really do buy lube for our sexual adventures.

–The Leather Man

Overheard by: i don't go to sex shops with my boyfriend

Creepy older man on phone: Someone should really dildo her.

–5th Ave & 58th St.

Overheard by: Courtney

Girl, loudly: Why didn't you tell me you bought lube?!

–Crowded NYU Elevator

Overheard by: S

Large woman to group of friends: And if someone asks a question, I just wave a dildo in front of their eyes!

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Liat

Oh, Did I Say Single? I Meant Breathing

Creepy guy: Hey! Excuse me miss, are you single?
Woman: Umm… why?
Creepy guy: Well, I want to have an interaction with a single woman, but I don't wanna get involved if she has a man in her life.
Woman: Well, in that case, I'm not single.

–Q Train

Headline by: JR

Runners-Up:
· “And I’m Not Really a Woman Either” – NonQ-Train Rider

· “And Then He Resorted to Blasting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” Everywhere He Went” – patticakes
· “How Accountants Get Married” – Safe
· “It’s Like Prom All Over Again” – lisha
· “Shockingly, This Didn’t End the Conversation” – mac
· “Too Bad, ‘Cause I’m Really an Eccentric Millionaire” – PeterG


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

…But Then We'd Be Late for Our Spa Appointment. Sophie's Choice!

Creepy dude, walking up to two college kids: Hey, you guys look pretty smart, can I ask you a question?
College guy: Uh, we can't um… help you.
Creepy dude: I'm not asking for money, I just have a question. So if someone like, is an accomplice in a kidnapping, are they just as liable as the person who did the actual kidnapping?
College guy: I think it depends.
Creepy dude: Great! Thanks. (creepy dude walks away)
College chick: Is this one of those, “if you see something, say something” moments? Maybe we should call a popo.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Vegetarians Won't Eat Anything with a Wednesday One-Liner

(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man
: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!


–M101 Bus

(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him
: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!


–Union Square

Overheard by: I Looked Away

Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!

–Q Train

Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.

–30 Rock

Overheard by: MusicMagGirl

When You Watch Enough SVU, You Become Impervious to Weirdos

Crazy dude with shades to woman chatting with friend: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna blow you, suck you, fuck the two of you bitches hard, you know why? Cause I'm a faggot!
Women: (blank stare)
Crazy dude with shades: Then I can kill you, too. (maniacal laughter)
Women: (continue their jovial conversation)

–F Train

Overheard by: Craig