Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer! –West Village
Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber. –Madison Ave & 43rd
Girl #1: His name is Alan Golder?
Girl #2: Yes, he was on America’s Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries. They call him the ‘Dinnertime Bandit’.
Girl #1: What does he steal?
Girl #2: High-class jewelry. Bvlgari, Tiffany, DeBeers.
Girl #1: Geez, talking about stealing the family jewels. –Centro-Fly Nightclub, West 21st Street Overheard by: Peter G
Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not? –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: ianr
A young woman wearing fairy wings, a tiara, and carrying noisemakers, is on her cell phone. Twit: No, I’m not going to get arrested, I have to work later. –RNC Protest Route
Protestor: I really want to get arrested. What do you think I should do? –After a protest outside Stuyvesant Church, East Village
Guy: Yo, it’s not like a religion or nothin’. More like a nation, really. I’m tellin’ you, we got our own rules. We respect each other.
Girl #1: Are you sure it’s not a religion?
Guy: Nah. Like for example, if some guy tried to stab my friend, I’d jump in and take that blade for him. I’d do that for him.
Girl #2: That’s respect. –B Train Overheard by: Dominic
Automated announcement: Bus operators are protected by New York state law. Assaulting a bus operator is a felony.
Guy sitting behind bus operator, loud: Hooray!
Bus operator: Scaring me is a misdemeanor.
Overheard by: Robert
Business casual 30-something #1: What is this, a halfway house?
Business casual 30-something #2: No, man, that's Chipotle.