Archive for the ‘Crime and Punishment’ Category

…And He Has a Blog!

Girl #1: His name is Alan Golder?
Girl #2: Yes, he was on America’s Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries. They call him the ‘Dinnertime Bandit’.
Girl #1: What does he steal?
Girl #2: High-class jewelry. Bvlgari, Tiffany, DeBeers.
Girl #1: Geez, talking about stealing the family jewels. –Centro-Fly Nightclub, West 21st Street Overheard by: Peter G

Taking a Knife is the new Taking a Bullet

Guy: Yo, it’s not like a religion or nothin’. More like a nation, really. I’m tellin’ you, we got our own rules. We respect each other.
Girl #1: Are you sure it’s not a religion?
Guy: Nah. Like for example, if some guy tried to stab my friend, I’d jump in and take that blade for him. I’d do that for him.
Girl #2: That’s respect. –B Train Overheard by: Dominic

Those Wacky Homeless

Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train