A young woman wearing fairy wings, a tiara, and carrying noisemakers, is on her cell phone. Twit: No, I’m not going to get arrested, I have to work later. –RNC Protest Route
Protestor: I really want to get arrested. What do you think I should do? –After a protest outside Stuyvesant Church, East Village
Automated announcement: Bus operators are protected by New York state law. Assaulting a bus operator is a felony.
Guy sitting behind bus operator, loud: Hooray!
Bus operator: Scaring me is a misdemeanor.
Overheard by: Robert
Business casual 30-something #1: What is this, a halfway house?
Business casual 30-something #2: No, man, that's Chipotle.
40-something drunk Italian man in polo short and jeans: They tried to make me a made man when I was 16. Do you get what I'm sayin? I've got fucking connections. I know Duke. I know my brother. I know my dad.
40-something white man in jeans, Hawaiian shirt and long blond wig: No, but these people own the Bronx.
40-something drunk Italian man in polo short and jeans: Why do you have to be a dick? I told you, they tried to make me. I said no, but I still know my dad and Duke. If they try to hit you again, I got you. (yelling) Do you understand what that means? Made man? I was almost made!
–Tompkins Square Park
Older man: You get on my nerves… You get on my nerves, and I do not want to be arrested for beating a child.
Kid, cheerfully: You won't!
–Staples, Broadway & 184th St
Overheard by: prefers them over easy
Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.
–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: George O.
Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Kade
Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?
–Elevator, 75 Wall St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…
Overheard by: Bradburnside
Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?
–22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Edyna
Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs?
Hot girl on cell: You won't die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink?
–Cook St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: cameo
Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said "cock ring" and she says, "like the guy from the OJ trial?" I'm dead serious!
Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden!
–37th St & 8th Ave
20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that's saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys!
Mom: I thought you liked hate crimes.
20-something daughter: I do, but not against Latinos!
Overheard by: Nervous Asian Girl
20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience.
Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that?
Overheard by: Kishan
FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this.
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza
Overheard by: Rob
Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right?
Overheard by: Dani Cakes
Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government.
Overheard by: Stephen