Archive for the ‘Crying’ Category

“…Do You Think I'm Pretty?”

Girl high school senior: He's so very uncomfortable that he makes everyone else uncomfortable with his discomfortability.
Boy high school senior: He's very in possession of his femininity.
Girl high school senior: You have no idea how much time he's spent crying to me about that. “Everyone thinks I'm gay. I don't know what I am. No, I'm not gay! Definitely not!”

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner

High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.

–Panera, Queens

Overheard by: NBG1

Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?

–Green Apple Cafe

Overheard by: Julie

Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!

–Nokia Theater, Times Square

Overheard by: dan

Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.

–E Train

Overheard by: MrsBall

Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!

–Times Square

Overheard by: JYC

Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!

–E 77th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Steve G

Hush, Little Wednesday, Don't You One-Liner

Mother to screaming child: Please stop crying and put your coat on. I am not hurting you or torturing you, so please stop crying.

–4th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: olivejuice

Father to kid who just started crying: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait until we got home!

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Lucian

Guy to girl, on Valentine's Day: You look fat when you cry.

–Cobble Hill

Overheard by: MJB

Hispanic man on phone to girlfriend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be breaking up with me because I hit you!

–Staten Island Ferry

Guy to girlfriend: I'm sorry I pulled your hair while you were crying.

–Bowery & 2nd

Like When He Was 2 and He Still Didn't Know About Santa

Hot nerdy girl: Like that one time when I was 11, and I got in trouble for telling Kevin that there's bacteria in yogurt and he started crying. Like, ugh, its not my fault you raised him to be so oblivious.
Hipster friend: Yeah, he was like 6 or something, he shoulda known dat shit by then.

–66th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Robert

Nobody's More Bitter Than Ex-Gymnasts

Young girl: How old are you?
22 year-old girl: I'm 22.
Young girl: And you're pregnant!
22 year-old girl: No I'm not.
Young girl: Why do you have a big belly then?
22 year-old girl: Well you know, when you're my age, hormonal and stuff, you'll get fat. People will think you're pregnant when you're not, and you'll cry. So you'll eat tons of salads to make the belly disappear but it won't work and you'll be sad. That's all life's about. Don't grow up.

–A Train

Overheard by: Violette