Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time! –Hostos Faculty Dining Room Overheard by: glad she's leaving Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: office peon loves Thanksgiving food Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then… –Dunkin Donuts, Bay Ridge Overheard by: allison Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits. –Upper West Side Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry. –95th & 2nd
CCNY student: I've always thought he has psychological problems. (pause) Like, he's one of those people that has to flip the light switch 17 times or the whole world dies. –Hallway, CCNY Overheard by: ladyliver Suit on cell: She is trying to get a good education so that she can pay for therapy later on. –1250 Broadway Loud male customer counting out packets of chewing tobacco: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ever since I quit my job at Sesame Street, I can't seem to live my life. Kermit is my shrink, so of course I'm screwed… –Smoke Shop, Park Slope Overheard by: Kiri Dude hanging up his cell: Oh my god, I think all Jewish girls need therapy. –Good Stuff Diner, 14th St Overheard by: Kosi Suit on cell: Dude, I know, but like, you either get help, or you're normal. (pause) No, dude, pick one, get help or be normal. Damn. –Port Authority Overheard by: Sarah History teacher to class: Does that make you uncomfortable? Because I know I'm mental. –Bronx High School of Science Overheard by: Lillian
Tiny elderly woman, angrily: I want some comfortable shoes that I can walk in!
Salesman: Oh, but we have so many…
Tiny elderly woman: I can't decide like that! Brands! Give me one brand!
Tiny elderly woman: No! Not Mephisto! –Shoestore, W 72nd St Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Art Dealer: Have you been following the election? Are you going to vote?
Man: They both suck. –Washington Square Overheard by: Ray Hannigan
Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from. –Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside
Guy #1: They don’t have my supplement here.
Guy #2: Try the health food store.
Guy #1: I would, but every time I go in there that woman tries to clean my aura. –CVS, Bleecker Street
Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play? –Starbucks Overheard by: Maggie
Storeworker: Can’t you at least pick up what you dropped?
Customer: I can’t bend. I have a bad back.
Storeworker: Why don’t you pretend it’s a ten dollar bill? Bet you’d dive pretty quick for that, wouldn’t you? –Marshall’s, Bensonhurst Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Customer: Look, see, there’s two scratches right there.
Optician: Those two? OK, now you’re being picky.
Customer: Picky?! I’m sorry that I set my expectations above your ability to provide me with scratch-resistant lenses without scratches in them. –Eyes on the Slope, Park Slope Overheard by: Hmm..maybe Lens Crafters
Waiter: Hey, wassup? I’m Sean. What’s your name?
Girl: Rebecca. Nice to meet you.
Waiter: And you, man?
Waiter: Hey, by any change you are mixed with Jewish?
Guy: Er, no, everything but.
Waiter: Well…’cause, you know, I’m Jewish.
Waiter: Uh, ’cause you know, Kwanzaa’s a Jewish Holiday?
Girl: It is? Wow, I didn’t know that. –Diner 24, 8th Avenue Overheard by: enkie