Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

Racist to English Dictionary

Customer: I rescue cats in the Bronx.
Shopgirl: You know sometimes poor families with children that aren’t taught well don’t know how to treat animals. I wish there was something that could be done about them. You know it’s not fair for the animals if they get placed into a bad home like that. If they don’t have enough money to take care of their children, how are they going to take care of an animal? And they [sic] don’t even treat their children right. –Purty Girl Boutique, Thompson St.

Yes, We Sell Parrots

Customer: So what do I feed it?
Manager: Give it crickets, 2 or 3 times a week.
Employee: You’ve got to feed it crickets 2 or 3 times a week.
Manager: Otherwise it takes greens and fruit.
Employee: Or greens and fruit.
Customer: What kind of greens?
Manager: Lettuce.
Customer: Regular lettuce or romaine?
Manager: Romaine.
Employee: It needs romaine.
Manager: Kale, chard.
Employee: Kale, chard.
Manager: Anything leafy and green it’ll eat.
Employee: Anything leafy and green.
Customer: So it’s OK if I leave it for a weekend or a week?
Manager: Yeah, just throw some lettuce in there with it before you go.
Employee: You got that? –Petland Discounts, Bensonhurst