Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

…By Glazing Over the Truth.

Old lady covered in baby powder: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts… Which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I'll just give you a selection of six. (starts putting random donuts in bag)
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts, don't trick me.

–Flatbush, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing

You Mean Gay Mafia Tight?

Dude to waiter: Yeah, I'll have the scrambled eggs. Scramble 'em soft so they're a little runny, with extra crispy bacon–almost burnt–wheat bread just a little toasted. Yeah, very light. And a cut of Gruyere cheese and grapes on the side. Yo, you still got those crumpets? Those flaky crumpets? Cool, I'll have 'em with peppermint tea with a wedge of lemon and cane sugar. Alright? Thanks.
Girlfriend, eying him warily: Babe, your brunch game is tight. Like, suspiciously tight…

–The Farm on Adderley, Brooklyn

Tonight's Movie: The Pursuit Of Happymeal

McDonald's cashier: Next!
Teenage girl: Yeah, I'd like a chicken nugget Happy Meal, girl toy, but can you put it in a normal bag?
McDonald's cashier: A bag?
Teenage girl: Yeah, instead of the Happy Meal box.
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: But it's a Happy Meal…
Teenage girl: This isn't a difficult concept. A Happy Meal. Chicken nuggets. Girl toy. In the bag the other food comes in.
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: But it's a Happy Meal. They come in a box.
Teenage girl: Okay, can you give me an extra bag, then?
McDonald's cashier, perplexed: Okay!

–McDonald's