Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category

Country Mouse, Wednesday One-Liner Mouse

Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere. –2 Train Overheard by: Lara Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American. –DiFara Pizzeria Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits. –Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city. –Forest Hills Overheard by: depends on citizens Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives. –52nd & 7th Overheard by: AEVRed Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart. –Duane Reade, 34th & 8th

Panda: “I Feel Somehow…Unfulfilled.”

Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go! –Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Susan Volchok

How Darwin Got Everyone to Accept His Theory

Father to teenage daughter: Oh, well…the party was in Queens.
Daughter: Fuck Queens!
Father, quickly checking calendar on cell phone: Not on Gay Pride Day, honey.
Daughter: Haha! Hang on, I'm going to write that down. I'll use it in a story for my creative writing class!
Father: Oh, don't write it down…it's not even funny. And always remember…if you want your story to be funny, just put in a monkey. It always works for me!
Daughter: Didn't you novel get bad reviews, though? They said it wasn't funny at all.
Father: Well, obviously, I should have written in several more monkeys. –Tompkins Square Park