Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Have Their Ups and “Downs”

Dog owner to another: Dogs are funny. They're like little retarded kids. –Tompkins Square Park Dog Run Guy on cell: She went from Debbie downer to Debbie Down Syndrome. –62nd St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Timo Lipping Dad: I thought she would like Carolina, so we took her to see four schools there. I asked her if she liked them and she said, "I liked the schools… But everyone there seemed slightly retarded." –W 54th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Johnny V. Southern woman who just ran NYC marathon to Southern friend: Well, we can't have a baby now because it would be retarded… because I'm 35, you know? –Becco Restaurant, Theater District Overheard by: mersayseh

Wednesdanimal One-Liners

Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator! –Sheridan Square Overheard by: Lory Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em! –Central Park Zoo Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters! –Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Rebecca Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff! –The Village Overheard by: Aaron

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

My Partially Retarded Father

Boy: Hey Dad, you wanna hear what I learned today? “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas”, and every word tells you the name of a planet! Wanna try it? OK, I’ll say the word, and you tell me which planet it means. Ready? My…
Father: Mars.
Boy: Right. Very…
Father: Venus.
Boy: Uh huh. Educated…
Father: Uh…Earth?
Boy: Yep. Mother…
Father: The Moon.
Boy: Yep. –7 train Overheard by: Mikey Boy on cell: We took the bus to 9th Avenue and I saw a guy lying there with only one shoe on. My dad said that’s what happens when you don’t go to school. –42nd & 9th Overheard by: Dr. Ballon