Archive for the ‘Dancing’ Category

No, Seriously– I’m Doing the Column Now.

Loud girl #1: So, are you going to tell Eric*?
Loud girl #2: It was a dance.
Loud girl #1: And a kiss.
Jamaican man, who has overheard: Oh. Oh, that’s cold. You ain’t gonna tell him?
Loud girl #2: I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.
Jamaican man: This gon’ get ugly, you hear me?
Loud girl #2: Fine! I’ll tell him! Then you’ll see ugly.
Jamaican man: Jus’ call me Dear Abby. –Elevator, Brooklyn

For the Last Time Dad, Marijuana Is NOT a Vegetable

Street performer: I declare today the “Eat Vegetables and Dance Day”!
Tourist to son: See, I told you all New Yorkers are crazy and high. –South Street Seaport Headline by: AlpacaHoss Runners-Up:
· “As a Perfectly Sane Dance-Eater, I Take Exception to That Remark” – Upstanding New Yorker
· “Does She Mean the People or the Rent Payments?” – Uncle Bling
· “Now Lettuce Boogie Out Of Town” – Kevin Babbles
· “Now Let´s Go to McDonald’s, and I’d Better Not See Those Hips Shaking” – Laura
· “Now Stop Dancing and Eat This Bacon” – Jesse
· “Richard Simmons Tries to Restart His Career” – sweatin to the oldies
· “What and Break My Perfect Morbidly Obese Record?” – Nota Fatty
· “You Laugh Until You Realize That New Yorkers Get the Day Off From Work” – BabakganoosH
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Patsy Cline Sings Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: July 31st! July 31st is the deadline, everyone! You must write your letters of apology to Bush or he’ll drop another bomb in the ocean and you can say “Good-bye” to Sri Lanka! –17th & 8th Overheard by: Edwin Lam Crazy guy: Son of a bitch! Why is it so hard to find true love? Don’t look at me like that. You want quiet? Go to the library. You think I want your money? I don’t need your money! Look at all these dollar bills on my pants! If I want money, I just peel one off. –6 train Crazy guy: Fuck you and your stupid leg. You fucking cunt! Cunt! Cunt! –L train Overheard by: Jonathan Farbowitz Drunk old Black guy: …people, we got these rhythms… rhythms that just don’t connect. I got rhythms, and you girls have got rhythms, but can we dance together? No, no…we can’t. That’s what happened when the Black man came to America, babies. Black and white, we just can’t dance, babies. But you girls should dance with me. –13th & 6th Crazy shirtless guy: Order in the court! Order in the court! Y’all is not guilty. Now get the hell outta here! –Port Authority Hobo: Does anybody on this bus have change for 36 nickels? –M60 bus Overheard by: Oz Skinner