Archive for the ‘Dancing’ Category

“There's No Wednesday One-Linering in Baseball!”

Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying. –186th St & Ft. Washington Ave Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch… –23rd & 8th 15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that. –A Train Overheard by: pop pop Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time! –LaGuardia High School Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks? –34th & 6th

Just Wait ‘Til We Get to the Fungus Unit and I Give You All Lapdances!

HS teacher with PhD, looking in stereo microscope at spores: Oh no, you won’t be able to see the hermaphrodites fully, they’re not sexually mature yet. [Dances around.]
Student: Umm… Okay.
HS teacher with PhD, clapping hands: What you’ve got there is some sexually frustrated spores [keeps dancing, moves to next station, fiddles around with knobs] Ooh, ooh, your spores haven’t come yet, but they’ll look like mittens when they do.
[Student bursts into muffled laughing.]
HS teacher with PhD: I know, aren’t spores fascinating? Are you laughing at my dancing?… Because biology just gets me so excited! –Notre Dame Academy H.S., Staten Island

Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen. –Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria Overheard by: Christine Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer! –34th & 8th Overheard by: Skye Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid. –54th St between 9th & 10th Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15. –20th & 8th