Archive for the ‘Dancing’ Category

No Wednesday One-Liner in the Champagne Room

Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"

–Starbucks

Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.

–E Train

Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?

–Strip Club, Queens

Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)

–Museum of Natural History

Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.

–NYU

Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that

Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!

–Penn Station

But He's a “Maybe” for “Monday Night Sex N' Scrabble”

Girl: So, my dad friended me on Facebook the other day, and I was like “shiiit! Limit profile view!”
Guy #1: Are there that many incriminating things on your profile?
Girl: Not really.
Guy #2: So dad's not going to be attending Diane's “get drunk and dance” party?

–Downtown 1 Train

By the Time Chastity Got HIV, She'd Stepped It Up to a BMW

20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: What do you mean where was I last night?! Are you out of your damn mind? I took an Ambien and passed out at 9 pm! (pause) Yeah, you should be sorry, you asshole. I'll let you make it up to me with a new iPod for Christmas. (pause) No, the blue one! Ugh. I have to go back to work, but there better be an apology e-mail waiting at my desk.
Shocked coworker: Lindsey, you were dancing with me on tables until 4 am!
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Obvious! But I can't tell my boyfriend that. Then he will definitely know I hooked up with that gorgeous Australian.
Shocked coworker: Wow. That's impressive.
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Oh, please. That's nothing. Wait till the Monday inquisition, when I'll have to step it up to an iPhone!

–Starbucks

Dirty Wednesday One-Linering

Tired thug teen, wistfully: I'd dance like crazy in a basement.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Two-year-old boy, pointing at three-month old baby: Isn't that guy in my dance class?

–Red Hook, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Swimfan

Clueless man to friend: What do you call male ballerinas anyway? Ballers?

–Cirque du Soleil Show, Randall's Island

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Girl to friend: I didn't dance with him at all…I kept walking away from him…I wasn't actually a very good prom date.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: wink

Metrosexual on cell: Do you have a large table in your apartment? Is it large enough for five men to stand on? Of course, we won't be dancing!

–Upper West Side

You Seem to Have a Gift, My Friend

(lady with 12-15 hula hoops walks onto subway and sits across a sleepy hobo)
Hobo, surprised
: Oh! Why you have all those hula hoops?

Hula hoop lady: Oh, well, I'm a professional hula hooper…seriously!
Hobo: Nah, nah, I see it.
Hula hoop lady: I teach a class with hula hoops.
Hobo: Yeah… (very matter-of-fact) I see the physicality of it. (Hobo gets up and does a gyrating hula hooping motion for five seconds)
Hula hoop lady: Yeah, people really get into it.

–L Train

Overheard by: Rock the Red Sock