Gentile Yuppie: When I was in the synagogue, all of these girls kept on coming up to me and trying to pick me up–but they were all Jewish!
Two men walking arm-in-arm down 8th Ave. in Chelsea: “Wait, I don’t get it. You mean you want to date, like, girls?”
Woman: Two retarded people would find each other. Still, they’ll make a good couple. –Burger King, Bensonhurst
Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”
Guy #1: Do you think you could ever date her?
Guy #2: I don’t know.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I can’t picture myself having sex with her. –Tower Records, 66th & Broadway Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Yuppie #1: Have you heard from Barbara recently?
Yuppie #2: No, she’s now dating this guy so she’s vanished. –Williamsburg
Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time? –Diner, 22nd and 9th Overheard by: Greg Rutter
20 something girl #1: So you ditched his ass.
20 something girl #2: Yeah, well, I told him that I would not date a 36-year-old who comes to work wearing bubblegum pink sneakers riding a long board.
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: Smoltzy
Girl #1: You don't like him.
Girl #2: You don't even like him–and you date him!
–New York Law School
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.