High school boy #1: Man, you should just do what your body's telling you to.
High school boy #2: You mean to grow a mustache?
–Hunter College High School
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
Tonight's Movie: Big Trouble in Little Italy
Girl: Hang on… (bends over to tie shoe in middle of crowd)
Appalled mother: Don't do that! This is New York. You could get pregnant!
–Mulberry & Hester, Little Italy
Overheard by: Mark
Probably Best to Do It While You're Spanking Her
Man #1: That's tough…
Man #2: Yeah. It's like asking your girl to lick your balls. There's no nice way to do that.
–Steinway St
Overheard by: Jake Blaxwell
Well I've Been Trying to Cut Back on MSG
Woman to younger boyfriend: Honey, that Chinese food that you brought over is still in my fridge. I was going to throw it out.
Younger boyfriend: No, I'll eat it.
Woman: You don't think it's gone bad?
Boyfriend: It's only two days old. You're 31, and you haven't gone bad yet.
Woman: That makes no sense, and in any event, you haven't eaten me in a while either.
–Upper East Side
An Amuse-Bouche Douche
Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He's not my boyfriend. I'm just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he's cute. Well, maybe it'll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He's an asshole…but he's amazing in bed and he's fun company… He's like a vibrator that makes appetizers.
–White Horse Tavern
Overheard by: the birthday girl
Tonight's Movie: 101 Dildotians
Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Only If You Can Solve Their Riddles
Chick: You can't really have sex with a Sphinx, the body is a lion.
Guy: Sphinxes are still titty-fuckable!
–NYU
Overheard by: LSB
Buying Her That “Cumdumpster” T-Shirt Backfired Bigtime
Ghetto girl #1: I'm gonna kick her ass. She's such a waste.
Ghetto girl #2: She is a waste. She's a waste of sperm.
–Times Square Shuttle
So Just Cut Out the Gay Sex, Guys
Girl #1: I can't believe John lets that guy fuck him in his ass…I mean, he's got to have hemorrhoids.
Girl #2: I know, I hate hemorrhoids, you really got to guard against that shit.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Atrain
At Least It Wasn't a 'Down Low, Too Slow'
Old nerdy father: How many people are in the world?
Toddler: Um…six billion?
Old nerdy father: You're right! (they high five)
Old black lady, passing by: Oh, hell no!
–68th & 2nd
Overheard by: Colleen