Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore? –86th St Overheard by: Kevin Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off! –Charles & 4th Overheard by: Eric 20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs… –Pratt Institute Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away! –5th & 21st Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom! –Carnegie Deli
Woman in store: Let me get a bacon and cheese on a roll.
Deli guy: Okay, bacon egg and cheese on a roll.
Woman: No eggs! I have high cholesterol, I'm trying to stay away from that… Just bacon and cheese on a roll, and put some mayonnaise on it. (mutters under her breath) Pshhh, eggs, you tryin to kill me with high cholesterol. –Lafayette Ave & Broadway
Hipster chick: Oh! Thanks for carrying my bag!
Hipster guy: No problem. I’ll just masturbate on your face later.
Hipster chick, laughing: Well, I didn’t want to say it in public… –Deli, 9th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: didn’t want to know that
Short Jamaican cabbie holding up newspaper: Man, this guy must have a big dick!
Arab deli guy: No, they did it on the moon. It’s different up there. –Deli, 28th & 10th Overheard by: lunch on 29th
Pregnant lady: My tummy hurts, it's either gas or the baby.
Husband: How can you tell the difference?
Pregnant lady: By which exit is used. –Katz Deli Overheard by: M. McOrmick
Girl in stall: Oh, shit, I dropped my phone in the toilet! The phone rings. Girl in stall: And how the hell am I supposed to answer that now?! –2nd Ave Deli bathroom Overheard by: Rue Silver
Woman: Why the fuck would you put a chicken in the juice machine?
Man: It’s common sense. –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Alexei Lebedev
Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya' hear now Obama's president they gonna tear down the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o' Aunt Jemima!" –Shuttle Train GCT Overheard by: Mrs. Butterworth Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I'd have a hundred million dollars! –Henry St, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Jesse Hobo to clerk: Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of the Gaza Strip. –Deli, 45th & 3rd Overheard by: LP Hobo to girl with boxing gloves attached to her backpack: Hi, there! Give a little money to help the homeless? (silence) I'll take anything but a punch in the face! –Astor & Lafayette Overheard by: Andi C. Shouting hobo: The family that scratches their butts together has smelly fingers! –34th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Kramer Hobo crossing street and pushing shopping cart: Hi ho Silver! –23rd St & Park Ave
Dad: How old are you?
Teen boy: Thirteen.
Dad: How old are you?
Mom: You know he’s thirteen.
Dad: It says here [gestures to brochure] that if you’re eleven or younger, you get in free… How old are you?
Teen boy: Oh. Eleven. –Roxy Deli Overheard by: Kelsey
Suit #1: So where are you going on vacation?
Suit #2: St. Bart’s.
Suit #1: Are you staying in a house or at a hotel?
Suit #2: A house. God, I hate hotels. Inevitably there will be one guest that irritates me; I’ll see him around at lunch or something. Then I’ll obsess about it, all vacation long.
Suit #1: Yeah. –Landmark Gourmet, Pearl Street Overheard by: freshie