Archive for the ‘Delis’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Didn’t Mean It Like That

NYU nerdy chick on cell: The oral is going to be super hard. …But I think I’ll be good at it. –NYU Overheard by: kat Clerk, to female co-worker: I keep my meat to the side. –Walgreens, Atlantic Ave Girl: Bite and suck, bite and suck, bite and suck! –Szechuan Restaurant Overheard by: tallierand Female customer to employee: …the gum that has the things in it. She likes to chew on the ones with the blue balls. –Duane Reade, Fresh Meadows Overheard by: evan FM College sophomore: … So yeah, I said "Mom, stop rotating my pickle!" –USA #1 Deli, La Salle & Broadway Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze Father to younger son: So you like second base right? –Douglaston Market, Queens Overheard by: Noelle

“…but hold the cheese!”

Server: Oh no, not you again! Whatchoo want?
Customer: ‘talian col’ cut.
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: I said ‘talian col’ cut!
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: Damn baby, I want you on it!
Server: Shit, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me!
Customer: Damn baby, I eat that shit! –Bed-Stuy deli

“Starving Children in Ethiopia Don't Even Have Wednesday One-Liners!”

NYU student to another: Spinach is like sex: if you were forced to have it as a child, you wouldn't enjoy it as an adult. –University Place & 12th St Hobo, pointing to deli sign: They want you to toss your own salad for $8.95. –23rd and 3rd Overheard by: Nicole Shipman Suit shouting into cell: Eggplant! Eggplant! Jesus Christ, what is so fucking hard about eggplant?! –Greenwich Village Overheard by: Sunny Subway preacher: I like vegetables! You gotta eat them so you can live. I like to put vegetables in my mouth. I like the way they taste! –N Train Guy to another: Take the pickle, because by god if someone else does and you don't get it, well, you'll be pickle-less and that's not ideal. –125th St Overheard by: Brian K.

I Just Threw Up in the Potato Salad a Little

Deli worker: Dude, did you just see those girls walk by outside?
Friend: Damn, dude, those girls are walking around like their shit don't stink! And it definitely doesn't.
Deli worker: Yeah, tell me about it!
Friend: Seriously, bro, I'd let both of them fart in my mouth! –Deli, Greenpoint