Archive for the ‘Depressed’ Category

I Always Spin a 2, Never Get the Blue Car, and My Peg Always Falls Out.

Hipster: Life is so… boring to me. –Outside trendy hipster bar Overheard by: J. Corner Headline by: RL Runners-Up:
· “God: Well, You See Jesus, I’m Kinda Glad You Said That Because…” – Sizzle
· “Obviously Hasn’t Tried the New “Coke Zero”” – Leary Blaine
· “That’s Why God Invented Firearms” – astanhope
· “The Sun Is Hot, Water Is Wet, And, Somewhere, a Hipster Is Bored. More at Eleven.” – map
· “Those Skinny Jeans Will Suffocate You Soon Enough” – Mowgli Allagash
· “Who Ordered the Ennui and Tonic?” – brian brinegar
· “You’re Not Exactly a Fireworks Extravaganza Yourself” – Katie Darling
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

All the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners

Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two! –LaGuardia High School Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare… Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy. –Gallery Players, Park Slope Overheard by: Emily B. Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene. –Lincoln Center Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical. –Madison Square Park Overheard by: Adam Nathan Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues! –Walgreens, Union Square Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo! –Times Square Overheard by: Minerva Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot. –Lincoln Center Overheard by: Emily B.

…Wait– Was That a Sex Joke?

(back door opens and closes, then the bus starts moving)
Obnoxious Hispanic Emo girl: Back doooor! Back doooor!
Bus driver: What the fuck!? Speak up, I don’t have all day!
Obnoxious girl: Back dooooor!
Bus driver: I have a family! I’m tired! I want to go home!
Obnoxious girl: Back doooooooor.
Bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, our future. –Bx41 Overheard by: If He’s Dissapointed with this I hope he never walks into one of New York’s public schools

Color-Coordinated Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster on cell: Drunk dialing is the new black. Fuck you. Happy new year. –House Party, Lorimer St Overheard by: confabulation Nation Redhead to friend: I swear we always have orange animals and they’re all called Renae. –Central Park Woman to man: There are many things to be sad about. The color of money being green isn’t one of them. –90th & 1st Overheard by: Sam Sad suit: Their yogurt is just too white. –Outside Pinkberry in Koreatown Girl: Yeah, my pubes are pink. –B1 Bus Overheard by: Robert Middle aged gay man: Alright! I like colored pens! There, I said it. –42nd St