Archive for the ‘Depressed’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Spin Fat into Muscle

African man, yelling into cell: I am not riding a bike! I’m not a machine! I’m not a machine! I’m not a wheel!

–W 23rd St

Overheard by: I’m a train!

Loud chick on cell: So I told him he’s gotta do some exercises or something to keep up with me. I mean, he doesn’t do any foreplay or anything, just climbs his fat ass on top of me…

–37th & Broadway

Guy on phone at sandwich shop: How am I? Well, that’s a complicated quesion -do you mean right now, or in general? Because right now, Lisa’s got a really bad cold and is all set up on the couch and I just got back from a eulogy for a friend’s pop. So now I’m getting a coffee and then I plan on riding the bicycle at the gym -’cause that’s the closest I can get to heroin. How are you?

–85th & Columbus Ave

Lady, to marathon wheelchair participants: Don’t just sit there, go go go!

–99th & 5th, NYC Marathon

Grown woman, clapping and bouncing up and down: Yaaaaaaay, I get to go on the slide!

–76th & York

Ten-year-old girl leaving the midnight showing of Harry Potter: Ugh. I am never working out again!

–68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

I Always Spin a 2, Never Get the Blue Car, and My Peg Always Falls Out.

Hipster: Life is so… boring to me.

–Outside trendy hipster bar

Overheard by: J. Corner

Headline by: RL

Runners-Up:
· “God: Well, You See Jesus, I’m Kinda Glad You Said That Because…” – Sizzle

· “Obviously Hasn’t Tried the New “Coke Zero”” – Leary Blaine
· “That’s Why God Invented Firearms” – astanhope
· “The Sun Is Hot, Water Is Wet, And, Somewhere, a Hipster Is Bored. More at Eleven.” – map
· “Those Skinny Jeans Will Suffocate You Soon Enough” – Mowgli Allagash
· “Who Ordered the Ennui and Tonic?” – brian brinegar
· “You’re Not Exactly a Fireworks Extravaganza Yourself” – Katie Darling


Click here to see the new Headline Contest