20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
Archive for the ‘Desi’ Category
Just When You Thought You'd Experienced All the Ways to Be Rejected by a Woman
Indian-looking woman in sari: Achoo! (sneezes)
Man: Bless you.
Indian-looking woman in sari: Oh, no. Thank you.
–Busy Laundromat, Astoria
The Wednesday One-Liner That Never Sleeps
20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.
–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!
–F Train
Overheard by: Chelsea S.
Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!
–B61 Bus
Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.
–Chambers St
Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!
–Times Square
Now That's Customer Service
Indian counter-person #1 to girl buying beer: Do you want a straw?
Girl: No, thanks.
Indian counter-person #2: I hear you get more fucked up if you drink it from a straw.
–Spring & Mott
Overheard by: Clannah
Wednesday One-Liners Got the Part!
Conductor in thick Indian accent: Everybody's stressed out on their way to work, but remember you only came on the train with two hands! If you feel a third hand on you, feel free to do whatever you want with it!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: megan rose
Young woman on cell: Daddy? Mommy said you called. Is it about your testicles?
–78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Bob
Man on cell: I just saw this human female walk by with these legs…
–SoHo
Overheard by: Another human female
Passing female coworker: Stick my finger up to the middle knuckle to make sure it's warm.
–31st St
Dorky guy to friends: So then she gets on the table and the next thing you know, one leg is over her head and I just didn't know what to do with myself…
–3rd & 23rd
Overheard by: tila
Jersey lady: Now I have to straddle him, hold on to his ears, and do it.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Wow. Just… wow.
Disney's Going After North Korea Next
Brown girl: Oh my god, did you see the new Cheetah Girls movie? The one where they go to India? It's so offensive!
White friend: To what? Cheetahs?
Brown girl: Brown people?
–Stuyvesant High School
Wednesday One-Liners: Ribbed for Her Pleasure
Loud office chick: Oh my god, I found, like, four condoms on the bookshelf!
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Serious teen on cell: If you use a condom… It doesn't count.
–Murray Hill
40-something woman to two 20-year-old men: Don't believe any girl when she tells you she's on birth control. Take your condom and keep it in your wallet.
–19th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: McCrum
Guy on cell: You're just mad because your dick is tiny and the condom slipped off.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Powerwalking Indian woman: I mean, isn't that why I went on the pill? So guys can come in me?
–40th & Queens Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: Ohmarkus
…Cowboy
Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.
–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side
Overheard by: blondie
I’m Not Getting Arrested for Breaking the Laws of Physics
Agitated Indian woman on platform, unable to board: You! You in the orange shirt! Do you speak English?
Asian woman in orange shirt: … Yes.
Agitated Indian woman: Could you move into the center of the car? Move in, move in! Move in so we can get on!
Asian woman: I am moved in. I’m in the exact center of the car!
Agitated Indian woman: No, there is room! Orange shirt, move in!
Asian woman: I can’t go anywhere. I don’t know what you expect me to do.
Agitated Indian woman: [String of expletives in Hindi.]
Asian woman, under breath: Psycho.
–Crowded N train, 59th St stop
Overheard by: trappedinabay
Just Like Nicole Richie
Black street dealer: Coke? Weed, my brotha?
Desi dude: I’m not black, I’m Indian, my nigga.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Innocent XXX