Businessman: Maria, Maria, Maria. I eat like 5 times a day.
Maria: So how do you stay looking so good?
Businessman: I’m a vegetarian, so I have to eat all the time.
–Midtown office
Archive for the ‘Diet/Weight’ Category
Just in Time for the Holidays…
Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal…no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Armchair Messiah
It’s All That Buttered Popcorn…
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this. –Movie Theater, Times Square Overheard by: Alayna
Most Polarizing Overheard Ever
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Because She Peed on the Rug?
Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei. –Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th Overheard by: Steven Coombs
It sure ain’t muscle
Old Lady: And then she said she didn’t like him because he was too fat. She wanted to date someone skinnier. You know, like you?
Old Man: I’m skinny?
Old Lady: Of course.
Old Man: Then what’s this hanging off of me?
–Brighton Beach
Europeans Speak on the Issues: The ESB
British Woman: So, what’s the purpose of the Empire State Building again?
British Man: It’s a sign of American power.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Little Italian Guy: I’ll bet this whole building weighs at least a thousand pounds.
–Empire State Building (365,000 tons)
Overheard by: Stomach Aches
And Then There's the Heroin…
Skinny girl: Ohmigod, I should be like a plus-size model!
Skinnier girl: You look great!
Skinny girl: You are sooo skinny! What do you do?
Skinnier girl: I don't eat more than like a thousand calories a day.
–Elevator, MSG Suites
A Venti One
Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: mjw51
Travel to the KateMossphere at Your Own Risk
Girlfriend to fiance, while shaking ring off of finger: Look, my ring is getting too big again. Am I losing weight?
Fiance: You're losing weight and I'm losing interest in you.
–E 95th St
Overheard by: Sarah