Former Columbia student: By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large. – East Village, private party full of recent Columbia alumni
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body. –Style Court Audience Overheard by: Tibbie X
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too. –Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street Overheard by: alice ayers
Waitress: Is this your granddaughter?
Waitress: She looks just like you.
Grandma: No, she looks like my son’s mother-in-law.
Grandma: She’s a big woman. –Chinese Restaurant, UWS
Man: Hey, Chris! Wow! You look great! You have lost so much weight!
Chris: Thanks. Not a diet though, I’m a crystal meth addict. –Chelsea
Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch. –57th and Park Overheard by: Heather
Businessman: Maria, Maria, Maria. I eat like 5 times a day.
Maria: So how do you stay looking so good?
Businessman: I’m a vegetarian, so I have to eat all the time. –Midtown office
Man holding pool cue: Rack ‘em, fattie! –SoHo
Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal…no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah. –26th & 8th Overheard by: Armchair Messiah
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this. –Movie Theater, Times Square Overheard by: Alayna